7111 replies to this topic

[Athena007]

MORE Randomness ---> Cool Honda Ad <---

[Tanger]

Sure would love one of these:

[Tanger]

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[Agent 76]

need a lift?

[Tanger]

[Tanger]

Why cousins shouldn't marry:

[Tanger]

[stromberg]

Smack the Pingu!

Have fun! Our company record is 533.5

[Tanger]

What controls do you use?

[Athena007]

Smack the Pingu!

Have fun! Our company record is 533.5

FUN!!!
553 so far for me!

you click the mouse when the Pingu says "ok" then the bat gets pulled back, then the Pingu jumps and you click the mouse again to swing the bat and try and hit Pingu.

[Tanger]

That's not working for me. Probably because I'm at college and they try to prevent you from playing games by making them not work.

[Athena007]

(make sure you click the mouse arrow inside the animation. :-/

woo hoo, I just hit 587.1 !!!

[Tanger]

Athena you are not understanding me. The game won't work because the computer I'm on doesn't have the software to play it. I'll try it later on when I'm at home.

[stromberg]

(make sure you click the mouse arrow inside the animation. :-/

woo hoo, I just hit 587.1 !!!

That's not too bad. BTW, I was talking rubbish. Record was something about 595 (haven't played this for some time). Had to check out some old screenshots: my personal is 593.

Maybe try this one, Tanger: basically the same, but it's in meters, so you can't compare the results:

[Tanger]

Palm Pilot for hillbillies:

[Tanger]

The Bricklayer's Accident Report...

The next time you're having a bad day, just think -- you're lucky you're not this guy!

This is a bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board.



Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation, and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later were found to weigh 240 lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3, accident reporting form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground, and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope.

[Tanger]

Learn to speak Chinese: The Easy Way!

Ai Bang Mai Ne - I bumped into the coffee table

Chin Tu Fat - You need a face lift

Dum Gai - A stupid person

Gun Pao Der - An ancient Chinese invention

Hu Flung Dung - Which one of you fertilized the field?

Hu Yu Hai Ding - We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugutive

Jan Ne Ka Sun - A former late night talk show host

Kum Hia - Approach me

Lao Ze Sho - Dawson's Creek

Lao Zi - Not very good

Lin Ching - An illegal execution

Moon Lan Ding - A great achievement of the American space program

Ne Ahn - A lighting fixture used in advertising signs

Shai Gai - A bashful person

Tai Ne Bae Be - A premature infant

Tai Ne Po Ne - A small horse

Ten Ding Ba - Serving drinks to people

Wan Bum Lung - A person with T.B.

Yu Mai Te Tan - Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you

Wa Shing Kah - Cleaning an automobile

Wai So Dim - Are you trying to save electricity?

Wai U Shao Ting -- There is no reason to raise your voice

[Tanger]

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[Tanger]

[The_Mole]

LOL!

All you guys are great!

That's really made my (very hot for UK) day!

[Tanger]

Blonde Challenge:

[Tanger]

It is a nice day today isn't it Mole?

[Blofeld's Cat]

25 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK...

• It's an incentive to show up.
• It reduces stress.
• It leads to more honest communications.
• It reduces complaints about low pay.
• It cuts down on time off because you have the hangover after work instead of before.
• Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
• It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
• It encourages carpooling.
• Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
• It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
• It makes fellow employees look better.
• It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
• Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
• Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
• Suddenly, burping during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.
• Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
• It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
• Everyone agrees they work better after they've had a couple of drinks.
• Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
• Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked. (depending of course on the boss).
• It promotes foreign relations with the former Soviet Union.
• The janitor's closet will finally have a use.
• Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
• Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross."
• Babbling and mumbling incoherently will be common language

[Tanger]

Geography Class

Teacher: What is the axis of the earth?

Student: The axis of the earth is an imaginary line which passes from one pole to the other, and on which the earth revolves.

Teacher: Very good. Now, could you hang clothes on that line?

Student: Yes, Sir.

Teacher: Indeed, and what sort of clothes?

Student: Imaginary clothes, Sir.