22 replies to this topic

[Tanger]

http://www.ajb007.co...rlotrilogy1.php
http://www.ajb007.co...rlotrilogy2.php
http://www.ajb007.co...rlotrilogy3.php

The Monte Carlo Trilogy. A series in three installments that takes James Bond to the Principality of Monaco, and its famous resort Monte Carlo. In the Playboy centre of the World –where James Bond is surrounded by the luxuries that he enjoys but can only experience through the help of his generous expense account, we see him sent on a mission to halt the trade of illegal arms to various terrorist organisations round the world. Armed with only his wits he sets about getting close to those involved – the results reveal the real danger – a ruthless mastermind, and game that can be very deadly indeed!


Part One: Not A Day More - A master criminal who deals in illegal weapons, a luxury yacht and a beautiful lady . . .

Just some of the things 007 has to deal with in this latest James Bond adventure!
M sends Bond to Monte Carlo to do what he can to make sure Count Louis-Enrique D’aville and his luxury yacht The Mallard don’t leave the busy Monte Carlo marina.

The mission is on a tight schedule can he do what’s necessary in time without endangering others involved?



Part Two: When Tommorow Comes-The stakes have just got higher.

The daughter of Count Luis-Enrique D’aville is asked to betray her illegal arms dealing father, and Bond is accused of murder. On top of this four flasks of Anthrax are at large . . .

Plus who is the mastermind behind it all?



Part Three: Death By Winning - In the final part James Bond comes face to face with the evil mastermind, whose old “Cold War” ideals mean that he is the real buyer of four flasks of Anthrax from the Sicillian Cosa Nostra. . .

Also a revelation about Lauren D’aville’s past sheds light on why her Father is involved in such a dangerous business

– The stakes are high, and the game is deadly –



Although it seems like a lot, these pieces are actually very short and don't really need to be in three parts. But they are very good and an excellent starting piece, I feel, for the Fan Fiction Reader's Club.
Enjoy!

Ps. You will need Adobe Acrobat Reader to read these. It can be downloaded via a link on each fan fic's page.

[Xenobia]

And now we just wait for this evening and the big discussion!

-- Xenobia

[Tanger]

Ok, let's kick this off!
I think I chose a good starting piece for the club and I'm sure that many of you have enjoyed it. Now let's see what everyone thought.

I thought that it was quite a good piece. It was quite well written and you could definitely picture Bond and all the other characters. It was an interesting idea too having the Bond double and all.
The setting of Monte Carlo is an interesting decision and you would have thought that some reference would have been made to Bond's first ever mission there, but alas I found none. Perhaps the writer was unaware of this.

Nevertheless it is a good piece and for the most part you could slot it in anywhere into the Bond chronology. That is until Bond uses his laptop which sets it firmly in modern or recent times.
Another very interesting thing I noticed was that the sex of M was never given. Neither 'He' or 'She' was used and so this was no indication as to who this M was. Some of the writing does indicate that it could be Sir Miles though as it just seems to fit more with his manner. Maybe it's just a preference though and the writer has left this open to project your favourite personality of M into the piece.

The trilogy idea definitely works well, if only the pieces weren't so short. Once you get past the disclaimers and copyrights etc in the first piece it his barely 4 pages long! Also some of the descriptions could have been a bit better and the whole piece could have done with one final draft.
Still, it was an enjoyable read and was 20 well spent minutes of my time. Definitely one that I recommend to ALL Bond fans and one of the best that I have read.

Overall 4/5.

[Qwerty]

I thoroughly enjoyed it Tanger!!

I too thought that splitting the entire story into three seperate fan fics reduced it to being rather short, and there were many copyrights etc...

I found each of them however to be very captivating and all three drew me back again for a second read! I have them saved on my computer now for future readings, and I thought they were done very well! The characters were done quite well and had good description, considering the length of each piece. I thought the scenes with M could have been greater emphasized, yet they still worked well.

Monte Carlo, I have always loved as a location, wether it be in films like GoldenEye or To Catch A Thief. I'm glad it was the location here, because it's such a cool place! Very well done.


(I'm not going to go into specifics in case some are not done,) but I thought the opening was excellent and the ending was quite a shocker!!

Overall-- 8/10

Great choice Tanger!

[Xenobia]

I too enjoyed the book, if not the ending, which I will discuss in more detail once it is clear everyone in the club has read it.

I like the setting in a classic Bond area -- Monte Carlo, and I also like the turn, ala Casino Royale where it looks like Bond might have failed in his mission, but ultimately, he does not.

The girl is a traditional Bond girl, and in that respect she is well written and very "picturable."

My only critique is with the ending, and again, I'll talk about that when it is clear everyone has read all three parts.

-- Xenobia

[deth]

I enjoyed it..... mainly because I hadn't read any fan fiction before, and so I was expecting complete garbage.


I actually think that this could have worked better as a longer story though, as many parts of Bond's thoughts were not well fleshed out. Also, we barely get to know the villains.....


.......I think the author does try to get descriptive about certain things like locations.... however, I feel that it doesn't really blend with the story and ends up simply being there "because that's what you put in a Bond story". Of course, the author may not have visited the locations.... so it's quite forgivable.


.......I did like the locations.... Monte Carlo is good..... nice sophistication... it's good that Bond thinks he might have failed.... but doesn't....


........the Bond girl wasn't bad..... but we don't really get to know her too much..... would have been better to get to know more about her relationship with Bond....

.........overall though, an enjoyable read.

[Qwerty]

"because that's what you put in a Bond story".

I find that to be a problem sometimes, not necessarily in this one, but it can break it or make it. I think that can be one of the true tests between good or bad.

[clinkeroo]

I echo the sentiment that it was a good piece to start with, not too heavy, not too light.

There are several aspects I look for in fan fiction, one of which is knowledge and respect of existing characters and events of the canon. This, I believe was Mr. Disley's strong point in this particular story. He obviously understands the character of Bond, and many of the facets of Flemingesque storytelling (strong connections to water and diving, four-star hotels, beautiful people and places). I was impressed with the setting descriptions of Monte Carlo and its hotels, although brief, they gave the sense of familiarity that only good research or firsthand knowledge can lend.

That said, like deth, I found the piece to be a little short for the story he was telling. Beyond Monte Carlo, the depth of description, both in setting and character, was light. With Bond, we should know the make of the yacht, we would know not only the brand of cigar the Count was puffing, but what the smoke smelled like, we should at least get once exacting physical feature per main character (something peculiar that makes them stand out beyond hair and eye color), and naturally, our main villain should have some medical malady that sets him apart. M's scenes are brief, and somewhat out of character (he/she only calls Bond "James" when he/she is discussing personal matters, and this is exceedingly rare. Nor would M use the expression "numero uno," this is the stoic and rigid M after all, not Miami Vice.)

I'd bet dimes to donuts that Mr. Disley has read some Puzo, with his brief riffs on the Sicilian Mafia and Omerta. And from the ending, stop reading if you haven't finished

from the ending, I take it he has more than a passing familiarity with Shakespeare. A kills B, after B has killed C, because C has killed D, and pretty soon everyone in the room is dead, ala Macbeth, ala Hamlet. The deaths, in Mr. Disley's case would have been so much more effective for me, if the characters would have been fleshed out more. Fleming had a knack for front-ending his character descriptions; within a few graphs of a character's introduction, we knew everything about them right down to the color of their boxers. Here we find out more about the Count in the last few paragraphs than we did through the rest of the story. He's pretty much complete scum, and then without any foreshadowing, he's a caring father who's just been blackmailed the entire time.

I know I'm kind of meandering now, so I'll probably give it a pause, I do want to say, however, that the covers for the three sections are beautiful, and blend together exceedingly well. It's nice to see that Mr. * isn't the only amazingly talented, Bond graphic artist out there.

It might appear that I'm coming across kind of negative, but that's not really the case, I enjoyed the pieces. Mr. Disley obviously cares, and knows, quite a bit about Bond. Fan Fiction gives people a forum to sharpen their writing tools, and I'd say Mr. Disley is already better than 95% of the fan fiction writers out there, and he will only get better.

Edited by clinkeroo, 03 February 2004 - 05:53 PM.

[Joyce Carrington]

I quite agree with you, deth and Clinkeroo. It was a very nice story, but it could have been better had it been fleshed out some more.

[deth]

just to clarify what I said ealier about the location descritions...


....I should have added that it felt to me like the author just pulled out a tiny paragraph from a tourist pamphlet or something. It didn't truly connect, or have any relevancy to the story.



....however, I find that Benson and Gardner do this to a certain degree as well.....


..... I think it's one of the things that makes Fleming so great. You never get even slightly bored reading his descriptions.



....(still, I hope I don't sound like I totally didn't like this short story.... it was pretty good for a fan fiction.)

Edited by deth, 03 February 2004 - 03:13 PM.

[Xenobia]

I guess what troubles me about the ending is, it's all wrapped up in a nice neat bow. Everyone's dead but Bond. I would have preferred to have someone left alive to keep the party going at a later date.

Sometimes death is too easy of an ending.

-- Xenobia

[scaramanga1]

Hi guys thankyou so much for the constructive and insightful criticism!

I agree wholeheartedly that the story would've benefitted from being a one part tale, rather than a trilogy. Also as for the locations -yes I'll hold my hands up -I've never had the fortune to visit -although it is somewhere that I intend to go to in the next couple of years if things in my life go to plan.

As for M, that was left ambiguous, so that the reader could choose the M that they wanted. As for descriptions I apologise on any skimping -and will try harder. This trilogy was my first attempt at a solo piece. I've collaborated on various team written novels but not on anything like this before. So really I am still trying to develop my craft. I'm currently working on a new fanfic short story/novella called The Designation Of Death, hopefully this will provide a fuller and more complete tale with characters that are little more fleshed out, so they satisfy you devourers of hopefully good 007 yarns.

I have to say though that my main aim with this tale was not to provide everything the film going public has got used to. Did you notice the lack of cars and gadgets? Q Branch wasn't even in sight!
This isn't because I don't like those elements of the Bond tales, but more because I wanted to show a 007 who thinks on his feet, and uses his brain to achieve his goals. I was especially proud of the way he dealt with the Count's boat. As for the doppleganger - I realise I missed a good opportunity of doing a much more interesting scene between him and 007.

Again when the Anthrax was being collected by the double, I wanted the reader to be drawn in to thinking it was 007.

I have to say Its a great feeling knowing people have actually bothered to read my work. I know I'm still an amateur, and have a lot to learn. But hopefully one day I will be a good enough writer to publish my own novel properly one day, writing good action thrillers is what I want to do most, and writing these short pieces of fanfiction just builds my confidence to such a degree that I will be able to submit work to a recognised publisher without the fear of making an of myself.

If any of you have more comments to make about this trilogy or of writing fan fiction as a whole, please feel free to post, as all writers look forward to feedback on their work. (good or bad.)

[Xenobia]

HI Jason! (I suspect, given the use of the first person, that is in fact who you are.) Welcome to CBn!

I loved the way Bond had to think on his feet. That is very much in keeping with Fleming, and some of the earlier films. I did enjoy that aspect of the trilogy, and I think it works well with Bond, and is much more realistic of spying in general.

-- Xenobia

[Qwerty]

Ah, the author speaks! Great job! It was very good! I like that there wasn't much from Q Branch. I think it only added to the story.



~Devin

[clinkeroo]

I have  to say  though that my  main aim with this  tale  was  not  to provide  everything  the  film going  public  has  got  used  to. Did  you  notice  the  lack of  cars and  gadgets? Q Branch wasn't  even in  sight!
This  isn't  because  I don't  like  those elements of  the  Bond  tales, but  more  because  I wanted to show  a 007 who thinks  on  his feet, and  uses  his  brain to achieve  his  goals.

Amen, I think Fleming would cringe if he could see how much Bond depends on gadgets in the modern films, and although I enjoy Raymond's work, in some some of the novels as well.

Nice fan fiction section you guys have put together over there, Jason. As I mentioned, I enjoyed the collaboration stories, but you have grown quite a bit since then.

Edited by clinkeroo, 03 February 2004 - 10:22 PM.

[scaramanga1]

HI Jason!  (I suspect, given the use of the first person, that is in fact who you are.)  Welcome to CBn!

I loved the way Bond had to think on his feet.  That is very much in keeping with Fleming, and some of the earlier films.  I did enjoy that aspect of the trilogy, and I think it works well with Bond, and is much more realistic of spying in general.

-- Xenobia

Yes its me the humble author. Sorry I haven't been on CBn for so long, I've been busy over at ajb, and studying full time at University, as a student teacher of English and Media Studies.

You may be interested to know that since embarking on the hobby of fan fiction writing, that I now take attention to detail much more seriously. My collection of 007 novels is not far off being complete - just a few elusive Gardner's to get, and on top of that I think I now own practically all of the Fleming biographies out there. Fleming is my main inspiration, and to manage to write in a Fleming/Disleyeque style is all that I want. So hopefully you will see some quality fan fiction in the future.

Edited by scaramanga1, 03 February 2004 - 10:36 PM.

[Xenobia]

Hey there...I understand about not having time...it happens to all of us! Believe me.

And yes, as you get more into writing, your curosity about the other authors will increase. I refused to read Fleming et all, until I finished my fanfic novel, because I didn't want to copy them too much, and more importantly, get dishearted by how good they were, and how much I stink.

-- Xenobia

[deth]

cool to hear what the author has to say

[scaramanga1]

cool to hear what the author has to say

Thanks! It's even cooler having people discuss your work. I'm hoping in a couple of weeks to have finished the first draft of my latest fan fic - THE DESIGNATION OF DEATH, hopefully that will be received in a just as ameniable manner.

[Qwerty]

Sounds great then!! If it's half as good as this one was, sounds like some gripping reading then!!

[scaramanga1]

I hope it will be. Like I say this is an early draft, and after those few grammer mistakes in my trilogy, I want to be sure that I provide something that is a little more polished.

[Lazenby880]

Since I recently joined the Fan Fiction Readers' Club and I have already commented on this fine trilogy at AJB, I'll edit what I said there (I apologise for the late reply).

As a whole, I very much enjoyed the trilogy, though I would have preferred it to have been one short novel rather than a trilogy, which would have given the story more flow. However, I know this was due to unforeseen circumstances on Scaramanga1's part therefore there is no use in dwelling on it.

Not A Day More is short, but I think this aids the story. It wets the reader

Edited by Lazenby, 01 March 2004 - 12:49 AM.

[scaramanga1]

Once again Lazenby880 I'd like to thank you for your indepth appraisal of the trilogy. It really comes accross how much you enjoyed reading it despite the grammatical errors. The attention to detail in areas such as 007's breakfast, are essential to produce anything that is remotely Flemingesque, and for this to be appreciated is excellent praise indeed -although I will never be as accomplished as Fleming in terms of writing 007 stories. Saying that though - I do believe I am at last beginning to find my own voice -which as writer is very comforting indeed.

I love the way you empathise with Lauren, as that was my intention.
The only thing I'm not really happy about -is the fact that the dopellganger was not used to greater affect.

Anyway a big thankyou to all of you who have read my trilogy and have enjoyed it.