56 replies to this topic

[ChandlerBing]

"Perhaps I can be of assistance, 007," Q said exhasperatingly, "remember that woman you were seeing a few nights ago? Connie Lingus?"

[homerjbond]

Just then, M entered the room and glared at Bond, "I expected you in my office 20 minutes ago...what the hell is going on?"

[JackChase007]

"I'm just helping him, Ma'am," said Q. "He seems to have forgotten the location of the vehicle we loaned to him."

[homerjbond]

M was not convinced, "Major, I am not concerned with the affairs of Q Branch and its equipment...I expect 007 in my office in 2 minutes!" With that, she stormed out.

[Tarl_Cabot]

Q:"Now pay attention 007, I have a new tuxedo for you.Standard Brioni Tuxedo 44 regular but with a new extra:It has a camoflaging system built in to the cufflinks"
JB:"You must be joking!"
Q:"I never joke about my equiptment 007"

[ChandlerBing]

"And in the pockets," Q continued, "as per request by the Swiss Army, 24 condoms in either side. Standard issue for all '00' personnel."

[homerjbond]

"Well, that should last me through the weekend," Bond quipped.

[ChandlerBing]

"Who is it this weekend? Connie Lingus? or Rosie Five-Fingers?"

[homerjbond]

"Barbara Mawdsley," he said with a wink, as he strolled out, heading to his appointment.

[Righty007]

This is starting to suck. Q Branch has never given out condoms and it will stay that way! The last 4 posts don't count.

[Joyce Carrington]

"I think that's my cue, Q," Bond said as his pager started beeping, "M wants to see me."

[ChandlerBing]

"Tell her I said hello," Q said with a naughty wink and a smile.

[homerjbond]

"Good morning, Moneypenny, you look particularly ravishing," Bond teased as he entered the outer office, where the enduring Miss Moneypenny was busy organizing a report labeled "Operation Irish Dreamtime".

[ChandlerBing]

"Oh, James, you look different than the last time I saw you. Of course, you're wearing clothes now, and I was dreaming, wasn't I?"

[homerjbond]

"Moneypenny, you REALLY need to get laid."

Sorry, seriously:

"It's nice to see one of us knows how to mix business with pleasure," Bond mused, then motioned to the leather-padded door, "What kind of a mood is she in?"

[Righty007]

"A bad one if you don't get in there quick, she's been waiting for you for awhile now and she is loosing her patience." said Moneypenny.

[homerjbond]

"Well, if, somehow, I do not get relieved of my duties in the next five minutes, I'll take you to lunch," Bond winked and scampers into what he invariably terms "the lion's den".

[Righty007]

When Bond went in, M was sitting at her desk looking at files and drinking a glass of bourbon.

[ChandlerBing]

"When do you sleep, 007?" she asked pointedly.

[Jimmy Blonde]

"Only when I'm acompanied by beautiful women" replied Bond with a smug grin. :-)

[homerjbond]

"Well, judging by that 'date' you brought to the company picnic, you must be staying awake by sheer will," M shot back.

[Jimmy Blonde]

"You could say that," replied Bond. "But I think you're jealous because I'm getting laid everywhere I go and you're not".

Bond straightens his tie and raises an eyebrow.

[ChandlerBing]

M just brushed away his comment by wryly noting, "Well, 007, thanks to the efforts of Q Branch, I have now become the proud owner of a Swedish Suregrip Suck Machine. You like apples? How about those apples, 007?"

[homerjbond]

Bond stared in disbelief, "That's a little more information than I needed. I think I want some of that bourbon you got there."

[ChandlerBing]

"It's actually Cognac, 007. I threw out the bourbon when my predecessor left, you know that."

[homerjbond]

"Actually, I'm pretty bloody drunk right now, so I don't give a rat's *** what you got in that glass," Bond sneered.

[Righty007]

You guys messed this game up! :mad: