32 replies to this topic

[TGO]

(From the AJB forums.)

I must warn you folks, that this is quite long...in fact, it took 3 pages of computer paper to write.

The Gunbarrel/James Bond theme(As heard during the hovercraft scene)/Wint and Kidd theme - some of the campiest bits of music in any Bond.

The way that Connery has his hands up in the pre-titles.

Wint and Kidd - They love each other so much, that they can finish each others sentences. Awww...

Mrs. Whistler - A teacher putting stolen diamonds in a hollow Bible. That heathen.

Tiffany Case - Just how many wigs did she have?

Peter Franks squealing like a girl during the elevator fight.

Bond's membership to the Playboy club.

Connery's non-matching hairpiece.

That tacky cremation music.

Shady Tree - "You dirty double crossing limey fink, those god d*mn diamonds are phonies!"

The cheesy casino music.

The fat guy next to Plenty at the casino - What was he thinking with that shirt and that tie?

Plenty O'Tool's name.

The gangster's in the hotel room - I must say...I liked the way they turned on the lamps on cue.

Connery's protruding gut makes its first and last appearance in a Bond movie.

The elephant at the slot machine.

When Bond slaps Tiffany. With a glove no less!

Dr. Metz - Am I the only one who thinks his accent is mildly funny?

Out dated slang - "Keep leaning on that tooter, Charlie, and you're gonna get a shot in the mouth!"

Just in general, how many agents named Hamilton are there?

The way that the "real" cat reacted to the "fake" cat. This is my territory, damnit!

Bert Saxby getting shot - Is it just me, or did he sound like a horse when he got shot? And just how did he know to kill Whyte?

Bambi and Thumper - I think Thumper actually said a Roger Moore-style pun when she said, "We're going to have a ball.", and knees him in the groin.

Willard Whyte - "Bert Saxby? Tell him he's fired!"

Blofeld in drag.

The faux YOLT ending.

The uniformed guards - At least they weren't color coded.

Tiffany Case changing into a bikini, on an oil rig.

Tiffany actually calling Blofeld by his first name.

Bond actually calling Tiffany a bitch.

Connery's legendary pastel pink tie.

The really horrible special effects.

Whew!

[Peter]

How about the "bombe surprise" with the surprise bomb in it? Okay, that was funny, though.

Also, Bond and Tiffany seeing the satellite from the QEII without the aid of a telescope.

[Carver]

Just the whole Bond meeting the *real* Blofeld bit, and Blofeld himself. And the whole film.

[Loomis]

There may be moments in other Bond films that are individually camper than anything in "Diamonds Are Forever", but DAF is far and away the campest James Bond film of all time (loved TGO's list, especially the comment about the way Connery has his hands up in the pre-titles). I struggle, in fact, to think of a single scene or line of dialogue that ISN'T camp. It couldn't be camper if C3PO was in it. Indeed, so camp is "Diamonds Are Forever" that it makes "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me" look like a serious documentary on the world of espionage.

[IrishCrown]

Don't forget Goldmember!

[Colonel Moon]

hmm

[freemo]

I like alot of the stuff on that list. The Wint & Kidd and casino music, Shady Tree, out dated slang, Connerys tummy. What's not to like ?

As for the pink tie, it's gradually becoming a legend in its own right.

[White Tuxedo]

What about Connery's "more than my hands up" line?

Here are my favorite lines from DAF.

-Anything by Wint and Kidd.

-Felix: Welcome to America (I love the delivery)

-Tiffany: You don't just kill James Bond and wait around for the cops to show up! (What the hell is that? I thought he was a SECRET agent. Cops in Amsterdam?)

-Plenty: Wait just a second lover.

-Mobster: I didn't know there was a pool down there.

-"That isn't a toy!"

-Sheriff: There's that SOB and sabatuer.

-Mr. Wint (on the QEII): Wooooooooooooo!

And my number 1 favorite line from Diamonds Are Forever come from Mr. Willard Whyte...

"I'll take it on the john."

[Blofeld]

I didn't see one of my personal favourite Bond lines mentioned anywhere:
"Providing the collars and cuffs match" in response to his preference for blondes or redheads. In terms of the campyness, all I can say is aahh, the seventies.

[Felix's lighter]

Speaking of the special effects, what was up with the special effects in DAF? Surely OHMSS wasn't such a collossal bomb that they had to go that low-budget. I mean, the effects in DR. NO were more realistic.

I watched DAF last night because I'm really trying to like it. One thing that amused me was the pervasive kinkiness throughout the movie (Wint and Kidd's flagrant, mincing homosexuality, Blofeld's cross-dressing and even Bond himself insinuating an interest in kinky sex with his "collars and cuffs" remark). It seems like the sexual revolution that the Bond films helped usher in had caught up with and surpassed Bond and the producers were trying too hard to keep up with society's changes.

[IrishCrown]

The stuff with Wint and Kidd is hysterical. I point at the screen and tell people, "Hey, that's George McFly's dad!" and they are shocked, but in the end, not really all that surprised. It's a funny movie, but Guy Hamilton should have been given the heave ho after this one.

[Felix's lighter]

That's the main problem - I laughed my butt off throughout DAF the last time I watched it. Bond movies are supposed to be funny, but they're not supposed to be downright comedies.

Man, did that moon buggy chase ever suck from an action perspective. The stupid buggy is going like five miles an hour and none of the cars could catch up with it?

[Rich Douglas]

Nice list! I was always kinda patial to connery's short pink tie.

Rich

[jeff319]

Diamonds Are Forever is by far the campiest Bond film of them all... and it's also my least favorite of the series. The plot is alright... but the action is extremely weak, Jill St. John is horrible, Charles Gray is too peppy to be Blofeld, the clothes are dreadful, Connery wears a pink tie, Felix Leiter is a bumbling fool, and the the film just generally lacks excitement.

[David Somerset]

The first time I saw DAF was on TV and they cut nearly all the fight scenes to such an extent that it looked totally ludicrous.The film itself was a disappointment too. Connery looked really old after Lazenby.

[Neil S. Bulk]

Originally posted by David Somerset
Connery looked really old after Lazenby.

Would you believe that Connery was younger in Diamonds are Forever than Moore was when he starred in Live and Let Die?

Neil

[Red Widow Dawn]

Let's not forget when Bond makes out with himself.

And "I speak English! Who is...your floor?"

[MovieManOO7]

It's very ironic that we keep blaming poor Roger Moore for turning Bond films into camp when it really started with Connery! After all, Moore's films (save perhaps MOONRAKER) were never this over-the-top with camp; on the plus side, Moore knew how to execute the comedic bits with style and a raised eyebrow - a skill which Connery lacked. Connery was good at the light-hearted comedy in the earlier films but his performance here was a disaster!

This film, out of all the Bonds so far is, is at the bottom of my list. Not that I hate it but it's just my least favorite. I can't believe Leonard Maltin gave this 3 1/2 stars as compared to FOR YOUR EYES ONLY getting only 3!

[General Koskov]

I think that when Connery realised Eon had the (something) to call him back for Bond instead of pleading with Lazenby, or anyone else, he tried to make it the campiest Bond film ever...and he ate a lot before filming started.

You know Bond is nuts when he resorts to kissing himself! And you know that you have a dumb smuggler when he doesn't notice the hair on the backs of Bond's 'girlfriend''s hands!

[11 11]

The scenes in OHMSS at Piz Gloria where Lazenby impersonates Sir Hillary Bray, were so hilarious and so downright entertaining that I think Broccoli and Saltzman decided that they should have this sort of thing throughout DAF, since those few scenes in OHMSS worked so well and were so funny.

Unfortunately, for DAF I do not think it was a good idea to go that way through the whole movie.

What's interesting though to me is how the first 3 Bonds, Connery, Lazenby, and Moore were all so good at the humor. Very good at it.

[BONDFINESSE 007]

the best thing about daf i think is jill st. john =hot

[11 11]

Did anyone else know that Jill St. John is considered to be one of the top 1500 smartest people in the United States?

You never would know.

[Jriv71]

You know, the more I read, the more I HATE this movie. Don't give me "funny". James Bond is not supposed to be funny. He can be witty, dry, have a snappy comeback but this fat, jolly "funny" Connery is awful. Connery enjoying a laugh with Kerim Bey is priceless. His cracks at Dr. No, at Quarrel ('I hope he cooks beter than he fights' about Pus-feller) at Goldfinger and Pussy are all brilliant. Even the Roger Moore stuff, cool in the face of danger is OK, but this slapstick, Cannonball Run-type movie was just.....ddfghfhhfhfhdhhdfhfhghg.....am I the only one who's embarrassed???

[General Koskov]

I'm also embarrassed. Agree that OHMSS' Piz Gloria scenes were non-stop laughs though. They could've advertised OHMSS as a comedy!

[Jriv71]

True. But OHMSS is one of the few where I actually read the book first, then saw the movie. When I read the last page, I practically threw the book down and stared at it for fifteen minutes. I was stunned. FAAAAANNNNN-TASTIC ending. Then to see the movie ending...almost word-for-word. Shot the way I (and Fleming) visualized it. Well, hardly a comedy.
Where the Hell is the 'Peg?

[11 11]

I tell you really the scenes at Piz Gloria, well George's comedy is extremely broad there. I almost think at times Roger wasn't the funniest Bond.

I always loose it on those Piz Gloria scenes, was Lazenby doing that on his own? It's amazing they could keep a straight face.

[Adam]

My favorite camp aspect of DAF is Blofeld in drag...they should've gotten Divine to play Blofeld

[General Koskov]

Originally posted by Jriv71
True.  But OHMSS is one of the few where I actually read the book first, then saw the movie.  When I read the last page, I practically threw the book down and stared at it for fifteen minutes.  I was stunned.  FAAAAANNNNN-TASTIC ending.  Then to see the movie ending...almost word-for-word.  Shot the way I (and Fleming) visualized it.   Well, hardly a comedy.
Where the Hell is the 'Peg?

Yeah, hardly a comedy, but I think the funny bits may have emphasised the fantastic ending.

PS. 'The 'Peg' is short for Winnipeg. As in Winnipeg, Manitoba. Someone finally asked!

[Jriv71]

Winnipeg, huh? That's what I thought.

[Mr. Kidd]

As I was only 9 years old when DAF was released, I wonder if it was actually considered as campy then as it is now. Surely a lot of films
and T.V shows from the early '70's look campy and dated by today's
standards. I think the screenwriters were guilty of trying to make a
Bond influenced less by Fleming and more by Hugh Hefner and the Rat
Pack, which though it may have been entertaining in 1971 would look
outdated by the time TSWLM was released!
I can't recall what the returns were for DAF, but I believe it WAS a
success at the time(unlike OHMSS) and the public accepted it as a
legitimate Bond film. This is not to defend DAF, but to put it in it's
proper context as a flawed, entertaining but badly dated film. One
other positive... It's responsible for this VERY funny thread.
(what about the asian guy crashing through the paper wall, sliding
across the floor like a bowling ball and crashing into a wall while he
mouths-without his lips moving!- "Ca-ca-cairo!")