181 replies to this topic

[Kingdom Come]

Circa 1988 -


Barbara Broccoli says "There is a feeling from audiences that we have come as far as we can before they, the films, become ridiculous. Myself and Michael Wilson are taking Bond back to his roots. I came to this conclusion one morning whilst I was shaving my legs, I looked in the mirror and saw that my own roots needed doing."

[JimmyBond]

Post dated November, 2006 (alternate universe)

Man Casino Royale was a blast! Owen made a great Bond, he's definately my favorite since Dalton

That whole reboot nonsense at the beginning of production worried me. But I'm glad they came to their senses and delivered a great Bond film that doesnt mess with continuity. So they had to change a bit of the storyline, the essense is still there! Bond falls in love (ok so its for the fifth time in as many movies...but so what?) and loses her, but I heard this would be the last time, next movie it will only slightly be personal.

And I'm so glad they didnt end the movie with the downer they had in the book. I loved the added character of Ifukalot so Bond had someone to end the movie with!

[Kingdom Come]

Circa - January 2007 -

A London reporter asks Danny Craig how he is feeling after the release of Casino Royale.

Craig; "Great relief all round! I'm looking forward to the next one which we start filming on January 28th for a Christmas 2007 release. The next film we continue with Bond's roots then we move forwards to the 21st Century and lashings of CGI - this time we have a man in control of special effects."

The reporter also asked Craig if he, like Bond, likes it shaken?

Craig replied, "Yes, what man doesn't."

[stromberg]

1983

OH MY GOD!!!

I just got my new Starlog and there's a picture of Roger Moore in Octopussy wearing a clown suit! I swear. I am totally serious. A clown suit!

Mark my words, Octopussy will be a major bomb. The series will end and it will be Cubby's and John Glen's fault for doing something so stupid like putting Bond in a clown suit!!!

But who cares? Bond is over. As long as they keep making Superman and Indiana Jones movies, then I'm happy.

What kind of gay title is Octopussy anyway?

Oh yeah, Air Supply ROCK!!!

Basically agree on all points. Just one thing: I read in German 'cinema' magazine that he'll also wear a Gorilla costume. What's this? Bond goes "King Kong"? (If they cast Jessica Lange as Bond girl, why not?)

They had a short statement from More, he said that he enjoyed the clown suit 'nice and baggy in the waist'... 'nuff said

Has anyone heard more about the rumours of a hot air baloon chase?

[ACE]

1983

OH MY GOD!!!

I just got my new Starlog and there's a picture of Roger Moore in Octopussy wearing a clown suit! I swear. I am totally serious. A clown suit!

Mark my words, Octopussy will be a major bomb. The series will end and it will be Cubby's and John Glen's fault for doing something so stupid like putting Bond in a clown suit!!!

But who cares? Bond is over. As long as they keep making Superman and Indiana Jones movies, then I'm happy.

What kind of gay title is Octopussy anyway?

Oh yeah, Air Supply ROCK!!!

Basically agree on all points. Just one thing: I read in German 'cinema' magazine that he'll also wear a Gorilla costume. What's this? Bond goes "King Kong"? (If they cast Jessica Lange as Bond girl, why not?)

They had a short statement from More, he said that he enjoyed the clown suit 'nice and baggy in the waist'... 'nuff said

Has anyone heard more about the rumours of a hot air baloon chase?

Well, Octopussy is not really a homo title, Zencat. It's a one-woman whore house. And anyway, don't you even know that Octopussy is an octopus from Fleming's novel first published in the Ivory Hammer in 1962. Tsk, tsk.

Yeah, Stromberg, I heard about the hot air balloon chase. Bond is going to follow the villain who is travelling by train and have a fight in the balloon with the henchman who will be played by Albert Moses who was the barman in Moonraker.

Well, I preferred the more realistic Bonds like the "science fact" of Moonraker.
FYEO was nothing like the novel. In that novel, the girl was called Judy and in the film she was called Melina. Also, in the novel of Risko, it was set in Venice, not Greece and Albania. How dare they ruin the book!

Well, I have simliar damp feelings towards Octopussy. An insider told me they are going to get Ray Harryhausan to do the special effects to bring life to Octopussy. And I'm so glad that the villain in this film is going to be Blofeld's daughter and played by Sybil Danning. Yes, I despise the clown and gorilla suit stuff (my insider told me it was true) but thank God, Robert Brown will play Admiral Hargreaves, a new character to replace the irreplacable Bernard Lee. It would be silly to try to recast such an iconic role. Bond would not be Bond without the one, definitive M. It's a good thing they did not take up Louise Maxwell's suggestion that she be M! OMG, who'd believe that! And there's no Moneypenny in this one but a new bird called Penelope Smallbush. Apparently James Clavell and George MacDonald Fraser are writing the screenplay. Well, despite my cynicism, I can't wait to see it but I will hold off until it comes on a Warner VHS Video Cassette which I will by for

[Kingdom Come]

Circa - winter 1972 -

Reporter from The London Sun Newspaper, asks Mr Moore for any info regarding Live & Let Die.

"As there is a new Bond, we have to steer in a slightly different direction. We have agreed on more humour and a return to Bond's roots for the first 4 and a half minutes anyway. After an hour we will again return to Bond's roots for 11 minutes and then back out again."

Asked if Mr Moore and the producers can keep a straight face, Mr Moore declined to comment.

[Kingdom Come]

Circa 1999 -

Eon productions have announced that Preasure Point is the title of the 20th Bond film. Eon said "We're taking the Bond series into the 21st Century, we need to compete with modern cinema blockbusters and feel that we have exausted the 'going back to Bond's roots and Fleming's novels approach'. We have to look ahead and not back. As this will be the 40th anniversary the film will also contain references to all the previous Bond films in intriguing ways."

A reporter asked Eon can we have a more detailed interview face to face about Bond's roots, Eon said, "We cannot at present, as it is difficult enough trying to stop oursleves wetting our computer chairs without having to do it whilst face to face with journalists."

[Kingdom Come]

Circa 2010 -

Eon have announced the retirement of Michael Wilson and wish him well. Mr Wilson will produce a new version of the 70s cult television series - Roots. Mr Wilson said that ever since being part of the Bond series he was rarely able to keep the word 'roots' out of his mind.

[Kingdom Come]

1986 - Eon have announced that all the James Bond films will be released on video in widescreen. The growth of video tapes and video recorders have over the last 4 years increased more that was forcast.

Meanwhile Roger Moore has signed for his 8th and final Bond film - GlobeFall to be shot on location in Southern Ireland and Colorado, USA. Moore says, "Bond's age and my age will be a factor addressed in the new film." He also hinted that there could be a first at the end of the film, by the introduction of the next James Bond. Asked what this could mean, Moore says, "I can't tell you any more, if I did I would have to kill you."

[ACE]

A quartet of LOL's there, Kingdom Come. Very funny. Well observed.

[Kingdom Come]

Circa 2011 - new reports just in, re filming the new Bond film, Kingdom Come, hint at exotic locations. Pakistan is rumoured to be one location, where Bond will meet the mysterious, Shaeen, at Ramadan, a sacred time of fasting. By the end of the film Ramadan could very well turn into Ramitin.

[Kingdom Come]

Circa 2014 -

Babs Brocolli has said that she is moving to a secondary position and instead of being co-producer will now be executive produce of the films. In affect this will mean the day to day chores will be out of her hands and she will now be content with overseeing the films. Asked why the change, Broccoli said, "These films take an enormous amount of time, one film can take two years from first ideas to screen and and if I don't give myself some time away I'll never get a fella."

[JimmyBond]

Circa 2008

Smitten with new Bond Daniel Craig so much (why do you think he got the role ) co-producer Barbara Brocolli has cast herself opposite current Bond Daniel Craig in the upcoming "Quantum of Solace." "It was a natural progression," Brocolli said. "I'm the hottest one of all and Craig and I have great chemistry."

"The love scenes will be done for real," she added with a wink.

[Johnboy007]

Circa 2008

Smitten with new Bond Daniel Craig so much (why do you think he got the role ) co-producer Barbara Brocolli has cast herself opposite current Bond Daniel Craig in the upcoming "Quantum of Solace." "It was a natural progression," Brocolli said. "I'm the hottest one of all and Craig and I have great chemistry."

"The love scenes will be done for real," she added with a wink.

*shudders*

Ugh! What?!

[Pussfeller]

Hey, she dated Dalton.

[ACE]

Hey, she dated Dalton.

Er, no she didn't....

1984

Looks like Pierce Branston will be replacing Roger in the next Bond, "From A View To A Kill". Leaks have it that this Irish actor, famed for playing suave PI, Remington Steele, is the 4th Eon Bond. And, from what John Glen said, they will take the short story as a jumping off point and get George MacDonald Fraser to start the script again. The motorbike sequence through French countryside forests will be retained as well as the Paris setting. Seems Rutger Hauer and David Bowie will be playing twin, Nazi-experimental Aryan baddies out to control the world by manipulating Halley's Comet (which passes Earth 76 years, the next time in 2 years, being 1986). Branston is signed to a 5 picture deal and will do a Bond every two years until 1993 (imagine Bond lasting that long). Eon intend to film all the remaining short stories so The Living Daylights, Risico, Quantum of Solace and The Hilderbrand Rarity will be the Branston titles. Cool, no? After that, the John Gardner books will be filmed. I know this because a leaked scripts sequences reveal the Ascot horse scene from Licence Renewed and the lift fall from For Special Services. People erroneously said these were from FAVTAK but they got it wrong because they were not familiar with the Gardner source material. Imagine the Gardner's being filmed in the 1990s - exciting, no? Branston is only 30 and will be good for 20 years at least. Say 10 pictures. Wow, Sean who? Roger what?

[Pussfeller]

Hey, she dated Dalton.

Er, no she didn't....

Are you positive? I thought she had.

[Loomis]

Hey, she dated Dalton.

Er, no she didn't....

Are you positive? I thought she had.

Same here.

[dunmall]

geez....now that takes dating the boss' daughter to a whole new level

[ACE]

15 October 2005

OMG, what have Eon done? Jug-eared, ugly, blonde unknown Briddish actor to play Barnd? Campy Zorro 2 and Brosnan-wuss director Campbell back (couldn't get another gig) to murder Falming's bestest novel. They say they are being fatithful but they are filming it in South Africa and Prague - they don't appear in the book. And no villain or girl cast yet - those Sony dudes are really going to screw this film up. They have been turned down by stars and will have to rely on unknown Eurotrash. Now, while this was perfectly fine in the 1960s, everybody knows that you need a star to open the film. Pervert and Suede are going to do their usual hack job. Oh, if only Cubby was around - he knows how to adapt Feleming books. One thing's fo sho, Barnd will nart be back next November - this is going to make Licence To Kill look like Titanic in terms of the grosses. After DAD, they really are going to chase the video game market. At least there will be no competition apart from a ditzy CG animated film inspired by the ice flow sequence of DAD. You know, for kids. I for one will not going to see the moviefilm at the Peckham Picture Palacio...

[DLibrasnow]

Hey, she dated Dalton.

Er, no she didn't....

Are you positive? I thought she had.

Same here.

I also heard that she had dated Dalton.

[ACE]

September Ninedeenaydee

Breaker, Breaker, I jus heard on the CB and good ole WACO FM that Rarjar Moore aind gonna do anotheradose Barnd films he duz. They gonna git some unknown Brit guy to them now. I lurved Moonrekker and figured they could do more like that. The Star Wars 2 moveez rark! After Moonrekker, theyz kin do something arn the moon itself. Like a guy is gonna settle down arn the moon and blow up the earth! Frikkin' cool, man! That last movee made a tunnacash and they ain't gonna rark the boat too much. Fark Fleming - he's so ninedeensevendies! I hope they git Donna Summa next time fo the sarng. That Shirley Bassy is so ninedeensiggstees! I want my disco, see! I really hope Barnd goes after those Eye-ranians too! Anyway, UA gonna git plenny money soon - they jus hired that Deer Hunder fella to do a big movie for'em... Over an out!

[Zorin Industries]

1964...

Some Irish youth has just got off the boat from Ireland. He's harping on about wanting to see GOLDFINGER at the Putney Odeon as it's going to be some zenith moment in his future career apparently...

And he's mentioned it again.

And again....

And again....

Edited by Zorin Industries, 17 April 2007 - 09:41 AM.

[Zorin Industries]

1986 - Eon have announced that all the James Bond films will be released on video in widescreen. The growth of video tapes and video recorders have over the last 4 years increased more that was forcast.

Meanwhile Roger Moore has signed for his 8th and final Bond film - GlobeFall to be shot on location in Southern Ireland and Colorado, USA. Moore says, "Bond's age and my age will be a factor addressed in the new film." He also hinted that there could be a first at the end of the film, by the introduction of the next James Bond. Asked what this could mean, Moore says, "I can't tell you any more, if I did I would have to kill you."

GlobeFall....? I don't know why, but that is a great title. Is it one of yours?

[JLaidlaw]

October 1982
Just got this from the interweb movie database:

"Bond is finally returning to the person to whom it belongs- Sean Connery. He is to appear in a new Bond film, to be called James Bond of the Secret Service, which will premiere opposite a feature length Simon Templar Movie starring Roger Moore, under the working title of Octopussy. It will be based on a new script from the writer of Thunderball"

Sounds good, a serious, gritty, down to earth new story from the guy who wrote the best Bond movie of them all. No more Moore and his outrageously stupid plotlines, horribly aged skin and bad acting. Still, "James Bond of the Secret Service", what a goofy title. I hope they change it to something more sensible.

[triviachamp]

Well I decided to revive this.

Oct 1962

What the hell is with the soundtrack? Calypso? What an awful attempt to pander to the crazy kids of today with their awful taste. And that jazzy theme? What sort of old fashioned mainstream crap is that? We need sort more modern Rock music, Get Elvis or those Liverpudlians.

Oct 1963
The Frank Sinatra knockoff is just plain awful, why didn't they just get the Chairman anyway? And didn't Frank stop singing that stuff when WWII ended? This sounds like every other movie theme song made in the past ten years. How terrible!

Dec 1964
Well the credits were nice, but a bit smutty. What the hell? Shirley Bassey? What a mainstream sellout, they should have gotten the Beatles! And her singing is shrill and the lyrics are terrible. "He loves gold!" Ugh.

Jan 1966

Those bastards! They dropped Brownjohn in favour of the guy who did the stupid dots from the first one! Those naked chicks are a big sellout. Why did they did change what was great in favour of smut?

Oh and the song is awful. What the hell is a thunderball anyway? And the rest of the lyrics are just cliched machismo. Too brassy and oldfashioned. And Tom Jones? What a sellout.

June 1967

Ugh Nancy Sinatra! Why couldn't they just get Frank? And when did Bond equal sappy love ballad? We need more brass!

Dec 1969

WTF?! No song? Just an instrumental? What the hell? And they used a synthesizer, we don't need that kiddybopper techno . Bring back Bassey!

Dec 1971

Well Bassey is back but the song is . This is too light and . This is the Seventies man! They should use Paul McCartney!

June 1973

What a horrific sellout. Paul McCrapney and his cacaphonious noise have sullied the class that is Bond. They should get someone less mainstream like Led Zeppelin. Or bring back Bassey. Hell they should get Bing Crosby to do it so we can get some class in this movie. And can someone explain what Live and Let Die even means?

Dec 1974

Why couldn't we just get Bassey? What ! And more cacaphonious noise.

June 1977

Ugh what sellouts: Hamlisch, Sager, Simon. So mainstream I have actually heard of these people! And love ballads? We need more Brassey! And how come it isn't a title song?

June 1979
Well we got Brassey but this is the Seventies man, not the 19th Century. Song is too light, not enough like Goldfinger. What the hell is a moonraker anyway?

June 1981
Jeez, how behind the times and mainstream kiddypopper can they get?

June 1983
Ugh no title song? Why were these wimps too afraid? And another non-brassy love ballads? What . And who the is Rita Coolidge? I want some non-mainstream artists that I have heard of! I hope NSNA has a better song.

Oct 1983

Well we got a title song and it is . And who is Lana Hall?

June 1985
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Duran Duran! What horrifingly mainstream sellouts to what is popular among the idiots kids of today. The Weekends Why? Why did I listen to this horrifying piece of ?

June 1987
Well Duran Duran was great but Aha sucks. Another flash in the pan.

June 1989
License to Kilt?????? Bond is supposed to brassy, not Gospel. And not Yank!

November 1995
Ugh Tina Turner? Such a sellout. So whats to be Shirley Bassey it hurts.

December 1997
Sheryl Crowe? What a sellout. And the song is so cliched and brassy.

Novemebr 1999

Garbage is right. Can't we get someone who is hip, non-mainstream and is someone I have heard of and is filled with brass?

[DaveBond21]

14th October 2005


WHAT????? Who the hell is Craig Daniels? Mark my words Bornsan will be in Casino Royale. This Daniel looks like a monkey. He is BLOND. JAMES BOND IS NOT BLONDE!!! Repeat NOT! HE IS BROWN HAIRED. I cant believe that they would sack the bond who has given them $400 billion dollars. Thay would be craxy to do this!!! CRAIG is just NOT BOND. bRONAN BOND! Bring back perice what the are they thinking? Craig is not Bond. Bond is swarve. Bond doesnt have BIG EARS! Bring back Perice. Perice was like Roger Moor only way cooler with bad chicks.

Please dont take away Peirece.

[dinovelvet]

Ha, the thread from hell.

BTW congrats to JimmyBond on predicting, in May 2006, that the 2008 Bond film would be called Quantum of Solace.

[Mr. Blofeld]

Ha, the thread from hell.

BTW congrats to JimmyBond on predicting, in May 2006, that the 2008 Bond film would be called Quantum of Solace.

Wow; that came out of left field, huh? Our Jimmy's an oracle, now!

[JimmyBond]

Circa 2008

Smitten with new Bond Daniel Craig so much (why do you think he got the role ) co-producer Barbara Brocolli has cast herself opposite current Bond Daniel Craig in the upcoming "Quantum of Solace." "It was a natural progression," Brocolli said. "I'm the hottest one of all and Craig and I have great chemistry."

"The love scenes will be done for real," she added with a wink.

Ha, the thread from hell.

BTW congrats to JimmyBond on predicting, in May 2006, that the 2008 Bond film would be called Quantum of Solace.

I remember that! I remember the whole period when it was thought Barbara Brocolli was boinking Craig. Fun times those were.