25 replies to this topic

[Jim]

From CBn's Main Page...

"No Laughing Matter" Jacques Stewart Offers a Taste of What We Might Expect From a 'Young James Bond'

[Loomis]

Your funniest post ever, Jim.

Which is saying an awful lot.

[stromberg]

Had to force myself to read this in two parts. Wouldn't have survived it (still can hardly breathe).

Glad you posted this in the nighttime, my workmates would have thought I have (finally) gone completely insane. Post of the year! Could you please make this a weekly column?

[DLibrasnow]

That was an excellent post Jim.

[Hawkeye]

FIRST: JIMs post;

That's the first time i've laughed out loud reading these forums. Kudos.
I'm printing it to enjoy later with friends! (and no that's not sarcasm, i genuinely nearly choked on my tea)


Now YOUNG JAMES BOND:

Oh for sake.

I'd sooner eat my own .


I am 21, nigh on 22 and i discovered Jame Bond via my dad when i was about 8 yrs old. It was cinema James Bond and i believe it was From Russia With love, followed by The Spy Who Loved Me. I was hooked. I wanted to be Bond for all the reasons everyone else has listed. I didn't read the Novels till i was 18 although i'd read all Gardners some years before. I was ignorant of the ifference between lit bond and Cinema bond, assuming novels and films were alike. It wasn't untill coronet reissued flemings with an eyecatching set of covers that i picked up Casino Royale and it was 2 more years before i actually read it. I read it after reading Doubleshot and was on a big bond kick. I soon read all the originals and craved more Benson. This makes me crave copious amounts of alcohol and painkillers in order to reduce me to a state where i can believe this news is a dream or a really bad joke, or just the twisted backwaters of a my mind finding momentary release before being shut away again in the dark depths of mine or any soul that chose to inflict this upon us. I'll say it again;

I'd sooner eat my own .

I will not be buying, curious or not. Even if they are later hailed in these forums as the greatest thing since the suggestion that Oddjob ate cats and that Scaramanga was after bond's booty. This high horse would be two high for me to climb down from.

Hawkeye

(truly nauseated)

Edited by Mister Asterix, 05 April 2004 - 07:41 PM.

[SnakeEyes]

Ahahaha, omg, Jim, ahahaha.

What would that be called...Snap Royale? Bond must dethrone the school bully so his own gang will beat him up after losing at snap to a loser like Bond (he pays to see tits).

Filled with the excitement of a go-cart chase and some gambling with bullies, I can see this to be the best book ever...

"Why did she let the bully take her in his go-cart, the silly girl" exclaims Bond as he goes in hot persuit...

BTW, you forgot to add the "Contributes to my suicide" option to the poll.

[Mister Asterix]

BTW, you forgot to add the "Contributes to my suicide" option to the poll.

We didn

[clinkeroo]

Very witty, Jim. You are a salve and tonic for my wounds, but alas, I am too pissed to be witty myself at the moment.

AAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

[zencat]

Jim's post is now a main page article HERE.

[scaramanga1]

Quite an amusing little slice of what could possibly be in store for the Bond readers of the future! ) Written just like Charlie Higson.

[Xenobia]

Jim....this only gets better with every additional reading. You da man.

Hawkeye...when eating , what is the best sidedish to serve?

-- Xen

[Hawkeye]

I like a fresh green salad with thousand island dressing. But that's just me.


Good to see JIMS extract on the front page, i believe i said to Zen a while ago it deserved a larger audience.

[Johnboy007]

I really needed this laugh! Excellent work Jim!

[Qwerty]

An unexpected article, very well done Jim!

[SPECTRE ASSASSIN]

Very amusing. A weekly column sounds like a good idea.

[Double-Oh-Zero]

So...is the Blades Club scene from Moonraker up next?

Excellent stuff.

[Tanger]

Great read man. And finally we get to see a picture of Jim!

[Four Aces]

I'm sorry, but I find the concept of a "young Bond", and publications of movies and of stories of such to be nauseating.

I realize I am in the minority here. Nevertheless, the concept may prove useful in attracting the next generation of Bond fans, or in recruiting fans at a very young age.

Cheers,

4A

[Jim]

I'm sorry, but I find the concept of a "young Bond", and publications of movies and of stories of such to be nauseating.

I realize I am in the minority here.

I'm not sure you are, you know.

[Loomis]

I'm sorry, but I find the concept of a "young Bond", and publications of movies and of stories of such to be nauseating.

I realize I am in the minority here.

I'm not sure you are, you know.

Does anyone find nauseating the concept of any James Bond fiction not written by Fleming?

Well, I suppose I'd better get me coat.

[Simon]

............. or in recruiting fans at a very young age.

Cheers,

4A

.....or indeed alienating them at a very young age.

[Brix Bond]

Great read man. And finally we get to see a picture of Jim!

That's Jim?

[RITZ]

With his finger up his nose, Bond turned to Benjamin. "The C-Vit?"

Just picture that.

"Show us yer tits."

Bond sounds like a Chav.

With apologies to Ian Fleming. But then I'm not the only one who should be apologising, am I?

Indeed.

[Simon]

God, I'd forgotten about this.

Laugh out loud silly.

[Bondian]

Just one of Jim's many masterpieces.

[killkenny kid]

I can't stop laughing, how did I miss this.