35 replies to this topic

[00Twelve]

Alright, contest ends Sept. 5, 5pm GMT. Have fun!

[Jim]

When the transsexual started to dry hump the Childline collecting box, he had little choice but to run.

or

"What do you mean? This is my ing happy face."

or

"No black hair dye in stock again. I mean, tchoh!"

or

He walked quickly, lest the head in the carrier bag started dripping brains.

[Wade]

"And, no, this isn't Barbara Broccoli's dry cleaning! Piss off!"

[Daddy Bond]

"And, no, this isn't Barbara Broccoli's dry cleaning! Piss off!"

"Why does everyone keep telling me I look like this Daniel Craig guy?"

[Judo chop]

Daniel Craig thinks fondly of his mother as he personally delivers flowers* to her apartment.






* flowers in still their potting soil...


with some broken shards of a pot...


and a florist’s finger.

[Royal Dalton]

On Her Majesty's Secret Shopping Trip

or

The tranny's saying:

"Hee, hee. Do you know what I've got here? Daniel Craig's Club Card!"

or

"Now, where did I park that bloody Aston Martin?!"

[Blonde Bond]

'Daniel Craig to replace Nicholas Cage as Johnny Blaze in the upcoming Hellboy sequel'

Edited by Blonde Bond, 29 August 2007 - 06:43 PM.

[The Richmond Spy]

"Yes, I know it is the motorist's turn to go, but I'm in a hurry!"

[Kilroy6644]

"Paper or plastic?"
"Do I look like I give a damn?"

[ACE]

"Dalton got to go to Harrods and I get lumbered with this."

or

"Now I know where they saved the money for my bonus."

or

"Tesco-0-7"

[iexpectu2die]

Craig, desperate for a can of Guinness, was highly irritated that the cashier didn't accept his fake ID.

[Athena007]

I hope no one finds out how many condoms I just bought... damn, I think they're onto me.

[Mister Asterix]

[mra]

• Back to top

[Royal Dalton]

"I think he got the points."

[dinovelvet]

"I know I asked for this new Bond film to be gritty and realistic, but this is just taking it too far."

#2 - "Bloody checkout girl. That coupon for two quid off when you buy three packs of toilet paper was NOT expired!"

[Mister Asterix]

HEADLINE: Craig Not Happy With Choice Of New Bond Girl.

[Bryce (003)]

"Next time I get the duct tape and skewers first...Make me go to the bloody store...Oh, this bastards gonna talk when I get back to the flat."

-or-

"Can't believe they didn't have the lillet vermouth."

[oatesy]

Bond product placement sinks to new low

[Bond Bombshell]

"Great! I don't think I've been spotted! I can't wait to get home and scoop out a hole in this melon!"

[Blonde Bond]

TERMINATOR GOES BLONDE

"Listen. And understand. That terminator is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead."

[shady ginzo]

DANIEL CRAIG CAUGHT ATTEMPTING TO PICK-POCKET DWARF WOMAN

Edited by shady ginzo, 29 August 2007 - 11:28 PM.

[Royal Dalton]

"I understand Tesco goods have a very short life expectancy."

or

Daniel Craig demonstrates Q Branch's latest invention: The invisible walking stick.

[Bond Bombshell]

"That's the last time I shop there! They don't even give a discount for bruised plums!"

[RedKelly]

Daniel Craig photographed J-walking

[LadySylvia]

HEADLINE: Craig Not Happy With Choice Of New Bond Girl.

Man, does he look like a tough SOB!

[Bondian]

HEADLINE: Craig Not Happy With Choice Of New Bond Girl.

rofl. Cannot better that.

Craig purchases some material and Maida Vale.

[jaguar007]

We Bad, We Bad...that's right, We Bad!




I can't believe those bastards don't have a bloody public restroom

[Blofeld's Cat]

"Bloody Tesco! The sooner they reinvent Q to
supply my gadgets the better!"

[Professor Dent]

There's the bastard who was in the 10 items or less express lane but had 12 items in his basket.

[Sbott]

Now where did I leave the Aston?