46 replies to this topic

[ACE]

Bond films have their share of knowing, ironic, post-modern, self-referential lines.

The above quote from Diamonds Are Forever which also produced the line about Bond (Connery) being on holiday "Hardly relaxing but most satisfying".

Or George Lazenby's "This never happened to the other fellow" and Moneypenny's line from the same film, "Same old James, only more so."

Pierce's teaser line "You expecting someone else?" and Dame Judi calling Pierce Bond "a sexist misogynist dinosaur."

Now, please invent and ironic line and explain it.

Eg.

YOLT
Blofeld in volcano: "This operations centre cost me millions."
ConneryBond (purring): "Well, I certainly wouldn't work for anything less."


SWLM
Stromberg (blowing up the Professors' helicopter): "If only all partnership disputes could be solved so easily."


AVTAK
Zorin (capturing Bond after his steeple-chase escape): "Mr Bond, you're too long in the tooth for this game."
RogerBond (suave as vanilla): "Perhaps, but they'll find me quite easy to replace."


TLD
Koskov (meeting Bond in Bratislava): "But you don't look like the man in the zapiska for the last 14 years."
DaltonBond (tersely): "I've changed. For the better."


GE
Trevelyan (in statue park): "Why James, you've changed. You seemed to have lost something - your gravitas."
PierceBond (smoothly): "Yes, but I've found my sense of humour."


CR
Linda (talking on phone, sunbathing near the Casino): "It's all so boring here, Margot. Nothing but playboys and pretty boys. Wait till I find a real man"
Stops and clocks DanielBond, ruggedly entering the Casino.

Give us a shot.

Yappy Hew Near

[David Schofield]

Le Chiffre: "Its time to stop playing Red Indians, my boy."
DanielBond: "You must give me the name of your occulist."

[ACE]

Nice.

Le Chiffre (refering to Alistair Crowley): "You see, Mr Bond, I have based myself on one of the finest practioners of black magic."
DanielBond: "Really, you must give me the name of your occultist."

[David Schofield]

DanielBond (in Layer Cake mode): "My name? Well, if you knew that it would make you as clever as me."

All: "Yes, it bloody well would seeing as though you said it in summer 2004, you smug git."

[spynovelfan]

Morning. Bond and Elektra in bed. Bond stands.
Elecktra: Leaving me so soon, James?
Bond: I have to make my report to M in an hour.
Elektra (reaching out to him from under the sheets, smiling): An hour? But that's all the time in the world.

[Loomis]

CASINO ROYALE

M: Tanner, where's 007?
TANNER: Right here. He just got back from the Munich assignment.

[Gabe Vieira]

Le Chiffre (refering to Alistair Crowley): "You see, Mr Bond, I have based myself  on one of the finest practioners of black magic."
DanielBond: "Really, you must give me the name of your occultist."

Very nice, ACE!

I tried to come up with one, but they're all crap.

[ACE]

Le Chiffre (refering to Alistair Crowley): "You see, Mr Bond, I have based myself  on one of the finest practioners of black magic."
DanielBond: "Really, you must give me the name of your occultist."

Very nice, ACE!

I tried to come up with one, but they're all crap.

Well, as you can see, it didn't stop me.

Have a go anyway, GabeViera. It's the taking part that counts.

Besides, Loomis and SNF have snagged all the Pulitzers!

[spynovelfan]

BOND
Nice yacht.

MAXIMILIAN LARGO(looking out at the sea)
Thank you. It helps the time pass more quickly. Sometimes life can be so dull, don't you find? You see yourself enacting a scene, and you could almost swear you've been there before, perhaps even said the same words before...

(He turns to Bond)

Don't you find?

BOND (with a slight smile to himself)
Yes, I think I know what you mean.

[spynovelfan]

LE CHIFFRE picks up the carpet-beater.

THWACK!

BOND (through gritted teeth)
I'll never piss.

[Gabe Vieira]

[quote name='ACE' date='3 January 2006 - 10:30'][quote name='Gabe Vieira' date='3 January 2006 - 13:28'][quote name='ACE' date='3 January 2006 - 09:59']Le Chiffre (refering to Alistair Crowley): "You see, Mr Bond, I have based myself

[Double-Oh Agent]

Bond on the phone to MI6 regarding the stupid reboot idea: "Yes, I said was. The glitch is dead now."

[Double-Oh Agent]

CASINO ROYALE

M: Tanner, where's 007?
TANNER: Right here. He just got back from the Munich assignment.

I love that one, Loomis.


M the first time he/she sees Daniel Craig as James Bond: "Hmm, for some reason I always pictured you with dark hair."

[Double-Oh Agent]

Le Chiffre to a nearly spent James Bond after a considerable amount of torture: "Tell me where the money is and all this will stop. You cannot hold out forever. No one can. In this world, there are winners and there are losers. I, Mr. Bond, am a winner. You, as is plainly obvious by your condition, are a loser. Welcome to the layer cake son."

[Double-Oh Agent]

M to Bond: "Your new codename is 007. You are the sixth man to carry that number. All five men before you were excellent agents. Hopefully, you will carry on their legacy with distinction as the new 007."


And along those lines: "You are replacing a very good agent who left us all too soon. Hopefully, you will be up to the task of filling his shoes."

[sidney reilly]

[quote name='ACE' date='3 January 2006 - 12:59']Nice.

Le Chiffre (refering to Alistair Crowley): "You see, Mr Bond, I have based myself

Edited by sidney reilly, 05 January 2006 - 10:22 PM.

[Mister Asterix]

DaltonBond:

You were expecting someone else?*

*someone else in some other thread probably deserves credit for this.

[ACE]

Nice.

Le Chiffre (refering to Alistair Crowley): "You see, Mr Bond, I have based myself  on one of the finest practioners of black magic."
DanielBond: "Really, you must give me the name of your occultist."

I can hardly compete with that one, but here's fun:

IN THE CONFESSIONAL IN FYEO

BOND: Forgive, me, Father, for I have sinned.

Q (as priest): That's putting it mildly, 007. You're hardly a candidate for sainthood.

BOND: [lifts eyebrow] Only in certain quarters.

[appearance of halo over head optional]

No, Sidney Reilly, you can't compete. You just beat everyone hollow!
LOL

[Problem Eliminator]

IN THE CONFESSIONAL IN FYEO

BOND: Forgive, me, Father, for I have sinned.

Q (as priest): That's putting it mildly, 007. You're hardly a candidate for sainthood.

BOND: [lifts eyebrow] Only in certain quarters.

[appearance of halo over head optional]

GREAT! Well done sidney.

[trumanlodge89]

Goldfinger: No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!


(after he shuts off the laser)


Bond: Well, you always did have high expectations!






*its pretty lame, but ill think of a better one later!

[Mamadou]

CASINO ROYALE

M: Tanner, where's 007?
TANNER: Right here. He just got back from the Munich assignment.

Awesome. I hope Haggis is reading this.

[spynovelfan]

R
This little device is in case you get captured by the enemy - which, let's face it, you always do...

[ACE]

CASINO ROYALE

M: Tanner, where's 007?
TANNER: Right here. He just got back from the Munich assignment.

Awesome. I hope Haggis is reading this.

As I said, Loomis and SNF scoop the Pulitzers. Sid Reilly gets a Nobel.

And I hope Haggis is NOT reading this....

[Kingdom Come]

Magda:
I don't know how to say goodbye.

Bond:
You do.

[trumanlodge89]

CASINO ROYALE

M: Tanner, where's 007?
TANNER: Right here. He just got back from the Munich assignment.

Awesome. I hope Haggis is reading this.

i agree.

[Mr Malcolm]

Daniel Bond (with brown hair) and Vesper are getting intimate, having disposed of a pursuing henchman.

Bond (dropping his trousers): Now, where were we?

Vesper: Ooh, James! So it's not your natural colour!

[ACE]

Daniel Bond (with brown hair) and Vesper are getting intimate, having disposed of a pursuing henchman.

Bond (dropping his trousers): Now, where were we?

Vesper: Ooh, James!  So it's not your natural colour!

LOL!

Or

Vesper: "I see your collars and cuffs don't match!"

[Double-Oh-Zero]

Tanner: We need you for this, 007. We've lost Number 5 already on this one.
Bond: Pearson? What happened?
Tanner: Missing, presumed dead. Past his prime for this sort of work, I'm afraid. Although one of our contacts in Station M Mexico claims they spotted him at a bullfight last week.

[ACE]

LOL! Very good.

[Harmsway]

Tanner: We need you for this, 007. We've lost Number 5 already on this one.
Bond: Pearson? What happened?
Tanner: Missing, presumed dead. Past his prime for this sort of work, I'm afraid. Although one of our contacts in Station M Mexico claims they spotted him at a bullfight last week.

LOL.