Legal Disclaimer
As publication of the following document is likely to result in extensive press coverage, my client has instructed me, in the interests of historical accuracy, to record fully the circumstances pertaining to its first public appearance.
In early 1997 I was contacted by my client to ascertain the legal standing and financial worth (if any) of some shares that had recently come into her possession after the death of a distant relative. Although such a request was outside my normal legal purview, as a long-standing friend of her family I felt obliged to help in this matter pro bono. At this point I must stress that my client was prompted to make her request through simple curiosity and not from a wish to profit financially from the legacy. The inheritance consisted of one hundred full shares in the firm of Cox and Company (Limited). However, after an investigation of some days at Company House I discovered that Cox and Co. was a middling banking institution that had ceased trading in 1973. The one hundred shares were thus rendered worthless.
My excitement may be imagined, therefore, when in 1999 I received a call from Company House informing me that renovation work at the former head office of Cox and Co. in Charing Cross had discovered some materials which seemed to belong to the firm. A workman, in installing under-floor heating, had uncovered a battered tin box bearing the legend
#2
Zing!
Zing!
Sub-Lieutenant
-
-
Crew
-
-
128 posts
Posted 05 April 2005 - 01:26 AM
That's a teaser? Wow! That's some of the best 007 fan-fiction I've read, and we don't even have any of the actual story yet! I certainly hope there is more to come. Bravo, Hitch! Bravo!
#3
Qwerty
Qwerty
-
Location:New York / Pennsylvania
Posted 05 April 2005 - 02:00 AM
I'm very excited for this Hitch. Eagerly awaiting more. 
#4
Joyce Carrington
Joyce Carrington
-
Location:Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Posted 05 April 2005 - 06:37 AM
Go Hitch! 
#5
Mr_Incognito
Mr_Incognito
Midshipman
-
-
Crew
-
78 posts
Posted 05 April 2005 - 04:24 PM
How cool was that?!
You'd better follow it up, Hitch.
#6
Hitch
Posted 06 April 2005 - 12:56 AM
Thanks very much for the kind comments. I had to get some Dutch courage to post the teaser...
...and I have the hangover to prove it. 
The complete story will be inflicted on unsuspecting readers in the next week or two. So brace yourselves. 
Edited by Hitch, 06 April 2005 - 01:01 AM.
#7
Tuxedo wearing Bond
Tuxedo wearing Bond
Sub-Lieutenant
-
-
Crew
-
-
200 posts
Posted 06 April 2005 - 07:50 PM
WOW. This is promising, good job Hitch!
#8
Qwerty
Qwerty
-
Location:New York / Pennsylvania
Posted 12 April 2005 - 11:55 PM
Thanks very much for the kind comments. I had to get some Dutch courage to post the teaser...
...and I have the hangover to prove it.
The complete story will be inflicted on unsuspecting readers in the next week or two. So brace yourselves.
Can't wait.
#9
Hitch
Posted 13 April 2005 - 12:01 AM
Qwerty, you smooth talking devil, you.
I should point out that the "legal disclaimer" is probably the best bit of the story. But I do hope that TWIMC has something for everyone. Fingers crossed...
*Hitch realises he's created a Bond acronym and punches the air in delight*
*Vows not to refer to oneself in the third person*
Edited by Hitch, 13 April 2005 - 12:08 AM.
#10
Qwerty
Qwerty
-
Location:New York / Pennsylvania
Posted 13 April 2005 - 12:04 AM
LOL. The utter truth nonetheless.
#11
Bond_Bishop
Bond_Bishop
-
Location:Secret position compromised: Karlstad, Sweden
Posted 13 April 2005 - 07:03 PM
Interesting!
#12
Skudor
Posted 14 April 2005 - 08:40 AM
Sounds great, very well written and a real teaser!
Posted 26 April 2005 - 11:34 AM
Here's one more (and the last) taste of TWIMC. I'll send the story to CBn HQ for security clearance once I've topped and tailed the damn thing. Anyway, here's the only quotable line: "You're a man after my own heart, Mr Bond - but I was after yours first."
Edited by Hitch, 26 April 2005 - 11:37 AM.
#14
spynovelfan
Posted 26 April 2005 - 01:32 PM
That is brilliant. Can't wait to read the story.
Posted 09 May 2005 - 04:40 PM
Apologies for the delay. It's a-coming. I just need to summon, a la Bond, one final burst of energy.
*girds loins*
I do hope it's worth the ridiculously long wait.
#16
Joyce Carrington
Joyce Carrington
-
Location:Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Posted 09 May 2005 - 08:51 PM
Sure it is, Hitch.
#17
Qwerty
Qwerty
-
Location:New York / Pennsylvania
Posted 09 May 2005 - 09:11 PM
Take your time!
#18
Joyce Carrington
Joyce Carrington
-
Location:Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Posted 23 May 2005 - 10:08 AM
This is going to be so good people will fall off their chairs.
Hitch, my dear sir, as Qwerty says, take your time. It'll be fine.
Posted 10 June 2005 - 10:27 PM
I've girded my loins.
This lovely mental image comes to you free of charge, as will TWIMC - in a few days. Thank you for your patience. My brain hurts. Writing crappy fanfic is hell...
...reading it will be worse.
Edited by Hitch, 10 June 2005 - 10:27 PM.
#20
Joyce Carrington
Joyce Carrington
-
Location:Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Posted 11 June 2005 - 08:41 AM
'Crappy', he says.
*chuckles*
How ignorant.
#21
Qwerty
Qwerty
-
Location:New York / Pennsylvania
Posted 11 June 2005 - 04:32 PM
Oh, it'll be fine. 
Posted 19 June 2005 - 11:37 AM
Time for an update: I had hoped to finish TWIMC by today, but I haven't been too well this week. C'est la vie. The story has taken a lot longer to write than I estimated, so I'm sorry if anyone has been annoyed by my litany of excuses and promises. Looking on the bright side, my "crappy fanfic" (TWIMC's unofficial title) is nearly done, it's full of Bondian goodness (he says), it's free(!) and it will hopefully help Bond fans to survive the Bond #6 hiatus. At the very worst, TWIMC will make you turn to Fleming et al just to wash away my painful prose - so everyone's a winner. Here's another taste of TWIMC... ...nope, uh-uh, can't do it. Trailers and sneak previews are ruining popular culture in my very humble opinion. So there's no way my unpopular culture is getting an early airing. Heh. But I did write a teaser, didn't I? OK, I'm a hypocrite. "Do you expect me to write?" "No, Mr Hitch, I expect you to die!" 
Edited by Hitch, 19 June 2005 - 11:39 AM.
#23
Hawkeye
Hawkeye
Sub-Lieutenant
-
-
Crew
-
-
183 posts
-
Location:Up on the Downside
Posted 19 June 2005 - 02:03 PM
Only just came across this. Looking forward to the whole kit and caboodle (how often do you get to use that in conversation).
Will this work get the full CBn mr* treatment for the fanfic archive?
hawk
Posted 19 June 2005 - 02:35 PM
Hawkeye,
TWIMC is actually a rather stodgy effort. The "legal disclaimer" teaser is easily the best bit, so I hope people won't be too disappointed when the story finally arrives. I'm such a slow writer that I couldn't resist posting the teaser, thus forcing me to finish the tale.  But thanks for the vote of confidence!
#25
Qwerty
Qwerty
-
Location:New York / Pennsylvania
Posted 19 June 2005 - 02:55 PM
It'll be a fun and interesting piece to read.
#26
Joyce Carrington
Joyce Carrington
-
Location:Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Posted 19 June 2005 - 05:24 PM
TWIMC is actually a rather stodgy effort. The "legal disclaimer" teaser is easily the best bit, so I hope people won't be too disappointed when the story finally arrives.
You're just being modest!   Who knows, Hitch, maybe it'll be received so well, it will get the full CBn treatment. I certainly think it's !!!
Posted 30 June 2005 - 10:46 AM
At the moment I feel like a marathon runner who has just entered the Olympic stadium only to find that the legs have turned to jelly. Try as I might, I can't muster the energy and determination to finish the damn thing. (Yes, my posts are self-indulgent whining, but in my defence this is my thread, so if I'm going to whine anywhere on CBn, it'll be here.)
TWIMC is finished, but there are still gaps where I've written, "Bond grabbed a [insert witty and enthralling action sequence] and [invent fitting defeat for villain] then kisses the [describe quintessential Bond] girl.
Sigh. I take back any criticism of any book I have ever read. Writing ain't easy. I need cakes and alcohol. I need to wear a good suit with a gently expanding weskit. I need gout.
Qwerty (and any other fanficauthors/CBn members) - I need you to set a deadline or encourage me somehow because otherwise the only appearance of my "crappy fanfic" (that title is currently going through the Patents Office) will be in my dustbin. Put me and the other poor fools reading this thread out of our misery!
This prime example of whiny fanfic angst comes courtesy of www.fishingforcompliments.com and getyourarseingear.org 
#28
Lazenby880
Posted 30 June 2005 - 11:38 AM
[quote name='Hitch' date='30 June 2005 - 10:46']At the moment I feel like a marathon runner who has just entered the Olympic stadium only to find that the legs have turned to jelly. Try as I might, I can't muster the energy and determination to finish the damn thing. (Yes, my posts are self-indulgent whining, but in my defence this is my thread, so if I'm going to whine anywhere on CBn, it'll be here.) TWIMC is finished, but there are still gaps where I've written, "Bond grabbed a [insert witty and enthralling action sequence] and [invent fitting defeat for villain] then kisses the [describe quintessential Bond] girl. Sigh. I take back any criticism of any book I have ever read. Writing ain't easy. I need cakes and alcohol. I need to wear a good suit with a gently expanding weskit. I need gout. Qwerty (and any other fanficauthors/CBn members) - I need you to set a deadline or encourage me somehow because otherwise the only appearance of my "crappy fanfic" (that title is currently going through the Patents Office) will be in my dustbin. Put me and the other poor fools reading this thread out of our misery! This prime example of whiny fanfic angst comes courtesy of www.fishingforcompliments.com and getyourarseingear.org
Edited by Lazenby880, 01 July 2005 - 07:35 AM.
#29
clinkeroo
clinkeroo
-
Location:Detroit, home of the Purple Gang
Posted 01 July 2005 - 06:49 AM
I need gout.
 Curiouser and curiouser. Here's one suggestion: find some photos that remind you of your settings and characters and tape them above your preferred writing space (there's currently a Fang tribal mask above mine) to remind you of your vision and to keep it real. For FDD I had a beautiful French ballerina and a rather attractive Irish singer above my desk for more than a year ( Who's this? sayeth The Wife. Research, my Dear, sayeth the writer). I'm waiting for the thing to be done before I sample, so strike while the iron is hot, my boy!
Posted 02 July 2005 - 10:10 PM
Lazenby880 & Clinkeroo,
Much obliged. It's good of you to pen encouragement, as a consequence of which I have strapped an icepack to my aching cranium and tapped out a few more sentences. So TWIMC is nearly there, but I'm very disappointed with it. I've written a basic story and haven't bothered much with writing interesting prose because it was beyond me. Oh well. But I hope Bond literary fans will enjoy parts of it.
This, I promise, is my last post in this thread until I've truly finished TWIMC. 
James Bond will return...
Reply to quoted posts Clear
|
