32 replies to this topic

[Loomis]

- Being so shocked and indignant when he learns he was filmed making love to Tatiana (FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE), and making a remark along the lines of: "It must have taken a pretty sick collection of minds to come up with a stunt like that." Bond, let's not forget, is a ruthless killer and spy who must be more than familiar with "honey traps" and the business of photographing people in compromising positions. What a hypocrite.

- Carrying around an outsize mink glove for use in sexual encounters (see THUNDERBALL). A bit of mild fetishism here?

- Claiming to hold a First in Oriental languages from Cambridge, then putting his supposedly excellent Japanese to almost no use during a trip to the Land of the Rising Sun (YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE).

- Refusing the oysters in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE, on the grounds that he was mistaken about their powers as an aphrodisiac. Listen, Bond's a frickin' gourmet - he'd eat the oysters anyway.

- Swiping a pørn mag from Gumbold's office in ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE. I mean, it's not as though he can't get laid. (And the magazine's disappearance would seem likely to alert Gumbold to the fact that he's been "turned over".)

- Refraining from killing Nick Nack at the end of THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN. What in the world prevents Bond from blowing the murderous little bugger's brains out or tossing him to the sharks of the South China Sea? Sympathy for his midgetry (if that's a word)? As the Yanks say: oh, puh-leaze!

- Dropping one of the world's most dangerous and wanted men (who happens also to have been behind the murder of his wife) down a chimney instead of subjecting him to some drawn-out suffering and/or taking him into custody (FOR YOUR EYES ONLY).

- Turning down sex with a moderately attractive woman who, while very young, appears to be over the age of consent (FOR YOUR EYES ONLY). Yeah, and my name's Michael G. Wilson.

- Becoming possessed by Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, upon setting foot in India (OCTOPUSSY).

-Telling his superiors he'll be with them in two hours (so that he can get his end away) (the pre-credits sequence of THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS). Why is this very, very strange indeed? Well, one of his colleagues in the Double-0 section has just been murdered, as has a British soldier. (Doesn't this mean anything to our hero? Does he feel no sense of comradeship with them, no outrage over their deaths, no burning desire to immediately start hunting down all those responsible?) Sure, Bond may have managed to kill the assassin, but how does he know that he didn't have accomplices who are still in the vicinity? Also, M is in the area (albeit up in the air) - what if a plan is afoot to murder the head of the British secret service, too? What if someone's hiding somewhere on Gibraltar with a missile, ready to down M's plane? The **** has totally hit the fan, and Bond has a job to do. He should be hurrying to rendezvous with the other members of the British secret service and military, helping them to search the area with a fine toothcomb and ensure M's safety, not faffing about with a woman on a yacht! (If I'd been M, I'd have said to Bond when he bothered to show his face again: "What the bloody hell have you been doing? You'd better have a damn good explanation for why it took you two hours to turn up! Two hours is enough time for someone to be able to walk all the way round Gibraltar 16 times, slowly! Do you have any idea of the magnitude of the security breach that has just happened?")

- Straightening his tie underwater (during the boat chase in THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH).

- Sniffing Rosa Klebb's shoe in DIE ANOTHER DAY, before pulling a face in disgust. What did he expect? That it would smell nice? Why sniff the bloody thing at all? (Oh, that's right, to give the audience a cheap giggle.)

- Staying on in North Korea at the end of DIE ANOTHER DAY. Think about it: the temple where he and Jinx play their games with diamonds must be in North, not South, Korea, since parked outside is the helicopter they used to exit the cargo plane. Had they flown it into South Korean airspace from the North, the South Korean military would have blown it out of the sky, probably without warning (that's if the North Koreans hadn't intercepted it first and shot it down on the assumption that it was a South Korean or American spy 'copter).

- Becoming somewhat toadying in the presence of government ministers (the Moore era).

- Taking it all without a murmur when M scolds him as though he's a naughty schoolboy (the Brosnan era). Where's your spunk, man?

[Tarl_Cabot]

Nice job Loomis. That was quite a lengthy post...

[Blofeld's Cat]

Yes, very good.

Here's another two:

- Exploding two nuclear weapons in the Atlantic Ocean without due concern for any other vessels that may have been in the area (The Spy Who Loved Me).

- Crashing his rental car into the Avis shop front without any concern for passer-bys (Tomorrow Never Dies).

[007luvchild2]

(Octopussy)
Telling a tiger to sit.
Recognizing his own theme song.

[Loomis]

- Exploding two nuclear weapons in the Atlantic Ocean without due concern for any other vessels that may have been in the area (The Spy Who Loved Me).

- Crashing his rental car into the Avis shop front without any concern for passer-bys (Tomorrow Never Dies).[/color]

Yes, I like those - especially the TOMORROW NEVER DIES one (he doesn't give a **** about the possibility of killing or crippling innocent people; in fact, one suspects that he relishes it - check out the evil grin on his face).

Keep 'em coming, folks (hoping for a nice selection from Jim, in particular).

[Mister Asterix]

...Sympathy for his midgetry (if that's a word)?...

Technically it would dwarfism. Even though Herv

[Bryce (003)]

There is of course the reckless disregard for public safety and property destruction during both the Paris and SF chase scenes in AVTAK.

[CommanderBond]

Recognizing his own theme song.

i wondered about that too..maybe that was a code to make sure he had the right guy..

[Righty007]

In On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, Bond talks to himself about another fella who is himself on a beach. Weird.

[Qwerty]

I've never met a person who is as adept at strangling women with their bikinis as Bond is.

[DLibrasnow]

I can't wait until Jim sees this thread!

[CommanderBond]

(Loomis)
- Carrying around an outsize mink glove for use in sexual encounters (see THUNDERBALL). A bit of mild fetishism here?


there could be a possible explanation for that..remember he is at a health clinic and the mink is to release tention.

[SnakeEyes]

I agree, the mink glove probably wasn't his.

I also agree with the whole TLD part, infact I wrote an amazingly long and pointless thread in the Dalton section that would make you think it's the most stupid film made (perhaps).

Here's mine:

-Allowing M to tell Bond what gun to use. This is crazy! Bond is the field operative and should be allowed full control over his choice of weapons and equipment. Infact Q telling Bond what gadgets he'll get is also stupid.

-Fiddling with EVERYTHING in Q's lab (mostly Brosnan to blame here). Has Bond got some kind of mental defeciency? He's certainly not in the frame of mind to be a trusted agent!

-Leaving evidence wherever he's been. No Bond, you're a secret agent. (Ties in with the playboy thing...)

-Very inconsistant weapon and unarmed skills. Can you aim, or not? Can you fight, or not? If you can, why not?!

-Bothering to pick up the shopping list in TLD. Some lackey now Bond?

-Keeping things from his superiors. Not to be trusted obviously!

-Having self regenerating muscle fibre. If we're to believe he was held for 14 months being tortured, did they also feed him huge meals and allow him 1/2 hours a day to work out and keep in shape? I doubt it! But Bond comes back looking just as good as when he left.

-Stoping his own heart to get the medics to rush in. Just pull the wires off!

[Athena007]

- Swiping a pørn mag from Gumbold's office in ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE. I mean, it's not as though he can't get laid.

I've thought the eXact same thing! lol


This is a GREAT thread, Loomis!

[Grubozaboyschikov]

Wasn't it PLAYBOY Feb 1969 ? The centerfold is Lorry Menconi. Pretty nice chic, BTW.

[Joyce Carrington]

Octopussy: Imitating Tarzan. Isn't that just ASKING to get caught by Kamal?

[Matt O'S oo4]

Wasn't it PLAYBOY Feb 1969 ? The centerfold is Lorry Menconi. Pretty nice chic, BTW.

Indeed!!

And who was she, BTW?

004

[Dmitri Mishkin]

From TSWLM - slapping an "Out of Order" sign on a corpse. How much more clear must it be?

Willfully hopping into the gravity simulator in MR - "Why not" indeed ... Bond is likely to be a future astronaut, isn't he? (I realize that the tone and events of MR pretty much nullify this one).

[Ezekiel]

Erm... never ever going to the loo!!

[Jim]

Agreed on the Paris chase thingie.

Down the steps we go. Backwards. Out of my way, proles! And now I'll drive along a crowded waterside. Move those boats! And now I'll drive under a barrier. And now I'll drive the wrong way along the highway. Get out of my way, completely and utterly innocent drivers! Aha! And now I'll jump from a substantial height onto the green-glass roof of a bateau-mouche, into a cake. Surprise!

Yeah, I'm a frickin' genius.

Oh Lordy, now I'm hanging off a fire truck (for reasons too tiresome to investigate); some mad bint up front, turn the wheel, turn the wheel Don't worry about smashing up the other cars; it doesn't matter - they're only police officers.

And now...I'm hanging off the side of a building, handcuffed to a chinese agent. Best thing to do? Smash through the window onto someone's workstation. There they were, downloading some pørn and then they get covered in glass. I'm sure that's against health and safety. And now I'm stealing someone's unpleasant white motorbike. And now, having jumped over a helicopter, I'm crashing through some poor sod's ceiling. And now I'm forcing a helicopter to crash into someone else's house.

Hippity hoppity goes Jeremy the Khazak Squirrel, filling his face with nuts and weevils and bouncing through some post-socıalıst foliage. Jeremy the Khazak Squirrel suddenly becomes toast, Bond having set off a big bomb inside a pipeline.

Rain down fire and bits of burning airship onto San Franciscan commuters trying to get to work across that bloody big bridge!

Stavros the grumpy monk goes for reflective walk through the peaceful mountains. Stavros the grumpy monk's walk interrupted by having fifteen stone bemuscled East German land on him from a great height.

Poison the Bosphorus for decades by breaking up a nuclear submarine!

Suffocate a whole factory by blocking its exhaust with bald-headed, oddly vocabularied, madman.

[Loomis]

In On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, Bond talks to himself about another fella who is himself on a beach. Weird.

LOL!

And a serious question (honest): do health clinics keep mink gloves in stock for people to relieve their tensions?

[Jim]

In On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, Bond talks to himself about another fella who is himself on a beach. Weird.

LOL!

And a serious question (honest): do health clinics keep mink gloves in stock for people to relieve their tensions?

Depends how expensive the club is, I guess. Lucky it wasn't a rubber glove. That's a different sort of club.

(NB: the mink glove thing is a direct lift from the book. Not that this makes it any more forgiveable)

[CommanderBond]

And a serious question (honest): do health clinics keep mink gloves in stock for people to relieve their tensions?

I would think so if they had massage therapy.

[Jim]

On the basis that we must mention Never Say Never Again or someone will set off a nuke around here (how bitterly ironic/pathetic/take your pick)

I am James Bond. I have just defeated a foe by blowing her up with an exploding pen. I am now trying to avoid the attention of the police. Accordingly, in a stealthy manner and in no way calling attention to ourselves, my friend and I (both secret agents) will (respectively) jog and cycle along a busy harbourfront in our underwear.

And some claim Casino Royale is the unofficial spoof.

[Tarl_Cabot]

(NB: the mink glove thing is a direct lift from the book. Not that this makes it any more forgiveable)"

It does for me.

"my friend and I (both secret agents) will (rerspectively) jog and cycle along a busy harbourfront in our underwear."

And obviously not frenchmen...

[CommanderBond]

have you noticed that everytime bond says he doesnt need a gadget that Q gives him , he really needs it. Like in FRWL he says he wont need it on his trip but it in the end it save his life. Weird...

[Double-Oh-Zero]

-Hanging upside down in a stall in the middle of a chemical weapons plant. While some poor bugger is trying to relieve himself on the toilet. You could just shoot the guy and put him out of his misery, rather than saying some half-assed one-liner and possibly flushing the whole mission down the toilet (bad pun, sorry). At least that part was improved for the game.

-Wearing sunglasses in a casino. OK, sure, they're the nifty X-Ray ones, but the other patrons of the casino must think he's off his rocker, especially after he smirked at the ladies beside that wheel thing.

-Not turning off the taps in his hotel room in Istanbul. "The Cold War in Russia will not remain cold for very long!" Indeed.

-Taking a nice afternoon stroll around Harlem. He's British. He's white. He's alone. He's a secret agent. He's a dead man walking.

-A bank has just been robbed in Bilbao, Spain. The alarms are ringing. Police are swarming the building. I, James Bond, will fall from the highest window, hanging from a string, while carrying an enormous silver briefcase. Surely no one will suspect me.

[DLibrasnow]

Stavros the grumpy monk goes for reflective walk through the peaceful mountains. Stavros the grumpy monk's walk interrupted by having fifteen stone bemuscled East German land on him from a great height.

Poison the Bosphorus for decades by breaking up a nuclear submarine!

Suffocate a whole factory by blocking its exhaust with bald-headed, oddly vocabularied, madman.

???

I didn't understand those last three references?

[Johnboy007]

FYEO-Kriegler pushed off the mountain monestary
TWINE-The submarine exploding
FYEO-Dumping off "Blofeld" Into smokestack

Hope that cleared it

[Blofeld's Cat]

- Staying on in North Korea at the end of DIE ANOTHER DAY. Think about it: the temple where he and Jinx play their games with diamonds must be in North, not South, Korea, since parked outside is the helicopter they used to exit the cargo plane. Had they flown it into South Korean airspace from the North, the South Korean military would have blown it out of the sky, probably without warning (that's if the North Koreans hadn't intercepted it first and shot it down on the assumption that it was a South Korean or American spy 'copter).

I wasn't too sure about this for some reason, so I used this as an excuse to see Die Another Day again.

I now realise why I thought your comments seemed strange Loomis - I thought that they were in Japan.

I know it sounds left field and Japan hardly figures in the plot at all, but the music David Arnold composed for that scene is so reminiscent to me of Barry