12 replies to this topic

[Double-0 Six]

Imagine this (highly unlikely) scenario:

You're sitting at home one day when the phone rings.

YOU : Hello?
MICKY G : Hi! I'm Michael G. Wilson.
YOU : Get away!
MICKY G : I am! Don't hang up!
YOU : Yeah, right!
MICKY G : Look, just shut up and listen ... we're about to start developing Bond 21 and we hear you're a big Bond fan. We'd like your advice on what we should do to make the next Bond film the "best Bond ever".
YOU : Um ...

What advice would you give them?

[Martini]

I would say: "Let me write the screenplay."

[Red Widow Dawn]

Fire everyone associated with the films except for Pierce Brosnan, Judi Dench, John Cleese, and Daniel Kleinman, and start from scratch.

[freemo]

Freemo: Look, this is the 12 time you've rang, I already told you, I'm not interested.
Mickey: Freemo, please, I know you can't see me on the other end, but I'm on my knees, I'm begging you, please.
Freemo: Oh alright, but only because my 1 o'clock cancelled and I've got a few moments. You got a pen and paper.
Mickey: Yup.
Freemo: Okay, listen up. First, less M. Theres only so much of thay boozehound I can take. "I've got the balls for this job", Yeah, we get the point already. Keep M, Moneypenny and Q to thier mandatory role early in the film. M poping up all the time thoughout the film takes away from the tension. Those situation room scenes are virtually an admittion that your climax sucks. Bond is escapism, people watch it to get away from things like work. So having Bond work collegues constanting taking up precious time in the meat of the film is not my idea of a good adventure.
Mickey: "a good adventure", got it.
Freemo: Okay, next, hows about setting the bulk of the film in the one location. Bond films set mostly in the one spot have a special unique feel to them. Dr No in Jamaica, Thunderball in the Bahamas, You Only Live Twice in Japan, Octopussy in India. Films set mostly in the one location rock, they have atmosphere, culture, and it's not "just another Bond film". The way TND and TWINE jump around just doesn't work (even less so since most of the locations in those two films were drab, drery, toilet bowls. The Cuba scenes in Die Another Day were somewhat a step in the right direction, but lets have Bond 21 take place primarily in the one place, Africa maybe ? Are your getting all this
Mickey: You bet I am, this is gold, anything else ?
Freemo: Yeah, a couple more things, but not now, the pizza I ordered is finally here, call me back later.

[Loomis]

1. Shoot on location wherever possible. Give us back that wonderful exotic travelogue feel of yesteryear. Look, not all of us trot the globe on a regular basis, you know, so please make Bond's ports of call seem like exciting places to be.

2. Hire John McTiernan to direct.

3. And make him watch LICENCE TO KILL at least three times a day during production.

4. Launch an urgent enquiry into why the set piece action scenes in the last two Bond films were incoherent, confusing messes, and use the findings to make decisions on the future employment of the relevant personnel.

5. Get Talisa Soto to return.

6. Fire David Arnold and wave a very large cheque at John Barry.

7. Track down Ken Adam.

8. Tell Purvis and Wade that they're quite welcome to write the script but that no further adolescent psychoanalysis or leaden melodramatics will be tolerated.

9. Hold regular cast and crew screenings of LICENCE TO KILL and make them repeat the mantra "this is what we want to achieve".

10. Hire David Tattersall or another really gifted cinematographer.

[Mourning Becomes Electra]

2. Hire John McTiernan to direct.

3. And make him watch LICENCE TO KILL at least three times a day during production.

What did McTeirnan ever do to you... poor sod.

Hold regular cast and crew screenings of LICENCE TO KILL and make them repeat the mantra "this is what we want to achieve".

EEK the cruelty spreads! Are you trying to get the role of the new villain by any chance?

And Talisa Soto? Has she learned to act yet? Why not a call for Tanya Roberts? I loooove Bond soooo much.... uh yuk....

[Loomis]

LOL MBE!:D:D:D:D:D:D

[Mourning Becomes Electra]

Well Loomis I'll hand it to you, it's a plan worthy of Blofield.... who needs piranahs?

But I do agree on some points, yeah to McTiernan and I'd also like some more first unit shooting on location though I understand they were severely curtailed by politics in Cuba and Korea and concerns about Sept 11. But the Cadiz scenes (even doubling as Cuba) really made me wish more of the recent films had that atmosphere you can only get when the cast goes on location.

[Loomis]

I thought Cadiz stood in very well for Cuba. The cigar factory and the rooftop where Bond chats to Raoul were brilliant, a wonderful exotic atmosphere that suited Bond's romantic world of espionage to a T (mind you, they could have been done in a studio in England for all I know).

I'm not demanding authentic location shooting every time out. No point in going to Hong Kong just to capture an establishing shot as Bond climbs out of the water. And I take your point, MBE, that certain places will always be out of bounds.

Obviously, all filmmaking is about artifice, and if you can capture a place by recreating it in a studio to better effect onscreen than by going to the place itself, that's fine. But there were parts of DAD that I felt fell flat in this department. I read in a review that it made North Korea look just like Hertfordshire, and I agree. Apparently, some very English electricity pylons are visible in one shot. So fake it, by all means, just fake it well.

[Mourning Becomes Electra]

I also thought Cadiz stood in beautifully for Havana (and I loved all the little details from the old cars to the man reading the newspaper aloud in the Cigar factory) and no doubt it was much easier to shoot in even with all the rain. I meant that I wish more of the recent films had that travelogue feel of the Cadiz/Cuban scenes.

But things like the rain and the unseasonably cold weather that they had to work around in Cadiz are probably one of the main reasons they prefer to cut down on location shooting. The costs can be enormous with time overruns. As for Korea looking like Hertfordshire, well I wouldn't know, so it worked for me. I do know though that the demilitarized zone was still more scenic than the rat trap parts of NYC they filmed LALD in. Why why???? Who goes to NYC to film on a highway and in an alley? Oops that's a separate pet peeve.

[Double-Oh-Zero]

I hope Freemo doesn't mind if I use his idea...

000 First, sack the people at MGM. Or tell them to sod off from the fan sites...

Mickey G: I can take offence to that...

000 Oh, pipe down, you silly old fool. Now then, have less shots of M holding her drink, or take the glass out of her hand altogether. No wonder the woman's wrinkly. Next, less snow in locations. Most of us know what it looks like, y'know. Also, make the plots less confusing and long. It seems that Purvis and Wade make the plot more confusing every time.

Mickey G: I didn't find them confusing.

000 Well, of course not. You and Babs made the flamin' films, you cretin. now, steer clear of the "I'm Bond's female equal and can do everyhting he can do" girl for Bond 21. Getting to be a tired concept. Also, more useful gadgets. Bond seems to have a gadget that fits right in with the situation these days. Ask Raymond if you can borrow one from his novels or just go with the easy exploding-something-or-other that's small and fits in Bond's pocket. And more inventive posters, as well. Don't get lazy and slap credits on a teaser and call it "U.S Final." I think that's all. Anything else?

Mickey G: [Silence, then a dialtone.]

000 Well, fine then. Your loss.

[rafterman]

go on location
make the story coherent
less M
no new car intro scene that's just a rip of Goldfinger
Q in the field
no Halle Berry
no cameos by "pop stars"

and more to come...

[JimmyBond]

I actually agree with everything thing rafterman said. Though I imagine when he says no Halle Berry he is meaning it in a different context than I do

Other things......

Bring the fun back into the action (not OTT Moore humor, but more down to earth fun action, like most of the stuff in Goldfinger).

More cat and mouse with Bond and the villian. I love the scenes in Goldfinger with Bond keeping his distance and just shadowing the villian, I want to see more of that.

Shorter teasers, I dont really see any reason they even need to include a huge stunt, just a simple fun action scene. The fight from Thunderball springs to mind.

Thats all for now, though I'll probably come up with more.