It's rare for me to take direct issue with a fan who finds something enjoyable. If someone believes that CR '67 is the best film of the franchise or that "Dude, Where's My Car?" deserved a Best Picture Oscar, far be it from me to tell them they shouldn't feel that way.
For me, anyway, DAD was such a major disappointment that I've broken that rule on occasion. It's been a couple of years since I unleashed a detailed attack, so I hope I'm not being too unpleasant to do this now. Now, I find some bits OK. The PTS and title sequence, though not the best in the series, were all right, and I thought the use of Birds of the West Indies was clever. I liked the balletic "video game sequence," though the concept of a hologram-generated training room failed with me because it was more "Star Trek" than James Bond. The part of the car battle on ice where Bond used the ejector seat to flip the car and avoid the missile. Brosnan's desperate attempt to start the plunging helicopter at the end was good, though I have no idea whether that could actually be done. And, of course, the glories of Ms. Rosamund Pike.
These bits were, alas, insufficient to save the movie. Sure, Bond will never be "realistic," but there are so many wild improbables and several impossibles in DAD that they transform the film from action-adventure to sheer fantasy. Once the illusion that what I'm seeing has some grounding in reality is shattered, and in DAD it's absolutely vaporized, the movie is no longer enjoyable on any level.
Where did the film go wrong? Let me count the ways (and I'm sure I'm omitting others).
1. The heart-stopping sequence.
2. M's presence aboard the frigate. Why is she taking a long ocean voyage away from her duties? So she could deliver a dressing down and brief Bond on his debriefing? Must be dull at Whitehall.
3. The fact that Bond's swim from the frigate to Hong Kong would of necessity cover several miles, something of which a trained member of the SEALS/ SBS, let alone a recently released Korean prisoner, would be incapable. This wasn't specifically addressed in the screenplay, of course (and no wonder), but there's no reason for the vessel to be closer to Hong Kong.
4. Bond's entry into the hotel lobby. Some people think this shows Bond's swagger, but I'm afraid most top-tier hotels I've been in have doormen that would promptly send such people and their swagger back into the street.
5. The fencing scene. Yes, it's nice to see some swordplay, but this certainly isn't one of the great depictions in film. My real objection, however, is that this fight entails not only damage to the club premises, but the threat that one or both of the combatants will sustain serious injury or death. I have a limited exposure to London Clubland, but I don't for a minute believe any of this would be tolerated before the staff intervened and the police were called. I know it's a Bond movie and it's supposed to be "fun," but this just stretches the bounds of credibility way, way too far.
6. The much-discussed invisible car. A gadget too far.
7. Jinx's killing of Dr. Alvarez. Now, I may be silly thrusting up moral objections to death-dealing in a Bond film, but Dr. Alvarez is the director of a shady gene-replacement clinic that works for bad people on the run. He's not himself a terrorist, a spy, or a person conspiring against the vital interests of any government, and I'm bothered that Jinx, in the name of the United States Government, murders him in cold blood.
8. The terrible, embarrassing puns, at every turn.
9. The ice racer. I suppose I can just (just, mind you) accept that Bond can, absent previous experience, drive an ice racer at record-breaking speed, but the following "para-gliding over the tsunami" sequence, even if it had a lot better CGI than this one does, would be a joke, and not a very good joke at that. Action sequences should be thrilling, not ones that induce the audience to exclaim, "Are you kidding me?"
10. The Icarus Death Ray. Yes, the terrible death ray that's able to destroy in flight an anti-satellite weapon traveling at atmospheric escape velocity but can't hit either the ice racer or destroy in less than thirty minutes a giant cargo plane.
11. The puerile, smutty "leave it in" dialog between Jinx and Bond. Not cute, not amusing, just distasteful.
There are probably arguments to be made about any of these individual points, and, being a Bond fan, I might have gotten past a couple of them. Taken together, however, issues like these destroyed the film for me. Believe me, I have never taken the least pleasure in coming to that conclusion.
