I have, a Lazenby take on Diamonds.
Here's my attempt. I know Ilse Steppat died in 1969, so let's have her replaced by another actress.
Bond, calm but vengeful walks to a garage/service station/motel on a mountain side, where he sees Blofeld's car. He finds Irma Bunt in a motel room and aims to kill the terrified old woman. Before he fires the gun, she is shot from the behind, through the door. The assassin rises. It is Felix Leiter.
"Sorry, I was late. M told me." Leiter admits. Leiter and Bond escape the motel, but find that Blofeld's car has driven off. Bond drives off in Leiter's rent-car Volkswagen Beetle and they engage in a car chase. Eventually, the car explodes. Leiter finds the corpse of the driver. It isn't Blofeld.
Cut to Italy, and Teresa's funeral. Bond meets Marc Ange Draco, and his assistant Olympe. Draco offers Bond the job of finding a diamond exporter named Rufus Saye in South Africa. Draco believes that Saye wants to buy out Draco. Bond turns him down. M wants Bond to find what happened to 001, who has gone missing in Las Vegas. Moneypenny tells Bond that she is saddened by the loss, while Q gives Bond a new gadget to cheer him up, a magnetised hacking device that can be used to change channels on televisions and give free telephone calls in phone boxes.
. Bond arrives in Las Vegas, met by Tiffany Case who claims to be 001's lover. She tells him that she is a diamond smuggler. She gives Bond a bag of diamonds marked "R, Saye". He asks her does she know Saye, who from photos is only ever seen with one particular side of his face covered in shadow. She answers that she doesn't, but her boss, a wealthy Texan casino owner named Jack Spang does. Bond visits Spang's penthouse and meets Spang, an older man in white suit and cowboy suit whom Tiffany considers an "uncle". Spang claims that he has not met Saye, but they are on good terms with Saye's American representatives Wint and Kidd. While in Spang's private aquarium, Bond notices a shark. "Oh that's Seraffimo, named after my late brother." Spang laughs. "He's my pet." Bond notices a human body swimming in the aquarium tank. Spang is horrified. Bond identifies the body as Felix, who is alive but only just. He has a note pinned to his torn clothes. "He disagreed with something that ate him." Meanwhile, gunshots are heard in the casino below. We see 001 undercover, an older agent about to retire, in white linen suit and fedora, disguised as a tourist playing the fruit machines, only to turn and be shot by Wint, a meek mild-mannered young man and Kidd, a corpulent jovial bearded man grinning madly but never speaking. Bond sees them and calls for Spang to help him. Spang falls down a lift shaft, his neck riddled with bullet holes and his skin burnt by neon lights. Bond is helpless, and heartlessly uses 001's body as a shield, As it fills up with bullets, one hits Bond.
Bond wakes up unconscious, in a fake ambulance. He finds himself in a desert airfield, being loaded onto a plane against his will. He realises he is going to be put in a cargo crate. The plane lands in South Africa, where Bond, lost and not knowing where he is enters a phone booth and uses the magnetised hacker. He calls M. M tells him that Q will trace the call back. They announce he is in South Africa. Before Bond can answer, the phone box is dragged away onto a truck, driven by Wint and Kidd, laughing at him. The phone box is dumped in a mine shaft. Bond gets out, and finds himself at Rufus Saye's diamond mine. He disguises himself as a miner and finds himself travelling through the mine's headquarters, where he meets Tiffany. She says that she has been looking for him, and M wants Bond. Bond spies through a boardroom door and sees Rufus Saye. It is Blofeld, his face half-changed with hair on just one side. He then sees Bond. Bond rips off the half-mask that Blofeld wears claiming that he spent the money intended for plastic surgery. Bond and Tiffany are cornered, by Blofeld, who confirms that it is the perfect trap He throws Bond in a prison with the real Saye, a nervous starved old man with a long beard and wild hair. Bond manages to escape, Saye following him, only for the latter to be shot by Blofeld's guards. There, Bond has a fist duel with Blofeld, and a footchase. Eventually, they find an abandoned abattoir where Bond pushes Blofeld into a mincer, then releasing the livestock trapped in the abattoir, and feeding them the minced up Blofeld. Marc Ange Draco and his men arrive and storm the mine, presenting Bond with Bond's wedding car, Aston Martin DBS, fitted with bullet-proof windows thanks to Q. Marc Ange Draco scrawls on the SPECTRE war-map, "Remember Teresa" in the blood of some SPECTRE goons he has shot. Bond chases Wint through the mine's tunnels, pushing him onto a rock, on which he is impaled and then squashed by an oncoming mine lift. Kidd appears and Bond kicks him away. Bond escapes up in the mine lift, leaving Kidd trapped in the mine shaft as it collapses, yearning he shall come back. More SPECTRE planes are flown in. Arabs, IRA, Communist agents, Japanese yakuza, Chicago gangsters, any SPECTRE ally arrive at the mine. Marc Ange Draco agrees to buy out SPECTRE, and in revenge for them killing his daughter, releases huge chambers of gas onto the masses of SPECTRE agents. As Draco's men evacuate the plant, Draco himself proves to be missing. Has he made a sacrifice? Bond, tired and free of vengeance escapes with Tiffany in the new DBS, as the mine blows up in the distance.
I had the idea of perhaps killing Draco off, Draco becoming the new SPECTRE leader, and Bond reluctantly forced to kill him, or even him coming back as the new SPECTRE boss, driven mad by his loss.
You ever done similar.
