9 replies to this topic

[glidrose]

Most of you are probably familiar with the game "This or that?" we play in the game section on these mighty fora. For those two or three of you who don't know the rules, it goes like this - you let other posters pick between two options. Some questions are serious, some are silly.
 
To help cheer my pal Eric Stromberg up, I've been coming up with ways of making a "new and improved" version of OHMSS.
 
Here's what I've come up with so far:

Which do you prefer...

"California Girls" heard during the OHMSS ski chase?

or

That blasted slide whistle from TMWTGG heard whenever Bond beds a woman in OHMSS.

or

Bond does the Octopussy Tarzan yell every five minutes no matter the situation

or

OHMSS with a laugh track,

or

Bond accidentally kills Tracy
 

I'll hunt you down, glidrose...for making me choose AVTAK over anything.

 
Let's pretend Telly Savalas wasn't available. Do you prefer...

Woody Allen as Blofeld

or

Joe Don Baker as Blofeld

or

Groucho Marx as Blofeld

Let's pretend Diana Rigg wasn't available. Do you prefer...

Fran Drescher (with laugh) as Tracy.

or

Rosie O'Donnell as Tracy.

or

Groucho Marx in drag as Tracy

What if We Have All The Time in the World wasn't in the film? Do you prefer...

Dirty Love from Licence to Kill

or

Make it Last All Night from For Your Eyes Only

Okay, We Have All The Time in the World IS in the film, but Louis Armstrong croaks before coming down to the recording studio. Do you prefer...

Justin Timberlake

or

Jay-Z

Bond's gotta have a sidekick. Do you prefer...

J.W. Pepper (He can be the motorcycle cop who approaches Bond cradling Tracy, "Hey, you're that English secret agent!")

or

Jaws and Dolly

or

The double-taking pigeon from Moonraker

or

Michael Madsen as Damien Falco from Die Another Day

No Bond film is complete without nookie. Do you prefer...

Bond makes love to Irma Bunt on a bearskin rug (Bunt: "You always were a cunning linguist, James." Bond: "Ahh the things we do for frequent flyer mileage!")

or

Blofeld makes love to Bond on a bearskin rug (Bond: "I feel a slight stiffness coming on." Blofeld, "James, my dear, we're showing a bit more cheek than usual, aren't we?" Halle Barry stands off to one side and tells Blofeld, "Oh, yeah. I think he got the thrust of it.")

Bond's honeymoon car, do you prefer...

The Bond-ola from Moonraker

or

The Moonbuggy from Diamonds Are Forever

Bond's wedding suit, do you prefer...

Bond's clown suit from Octopussy

or

Blofeld's drag costume from Diamonds Are Forever

The Angels of Death include...

The female cast of Glee

or

Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint in drag

 

glidrose, when this is all over I'm going to find you...

I'll give up OHMSS...damn you

 
 
Here's a special bonus round:

Who would you rather play Tracy? (Hi Eric!)

Grace Jones

or

Tanya Roberts

When Tracy gets shot, her dying words can be: Jones: "And I thought that creep loved me!" Roberts' dying words can be: "James! James!"
 

Damn your eyes, glidrose. These mashups are killing me. Ok. Nobody is going to mess with OHMSS. So...

 
 
Like it so far? Let's play another special bonus round!

We all know how OHMSS ends: Tracy's forehead stops the bullet. What do you think should happen next?

Bond cradles Tracy at the end, looks up at the camera, leers and says "This never happened to the other fella."

or

But I loved Tracy soooooooooooooooo much!

or

Easy come easy go.

or

Men come first, women come second.

or

It is a '69 and I am expecting you. (said to the motorcycle cop)
 
or
 
The Tarzan yell from Octopussy

 
Special shout out to my friend Eric Stromberg. Let's see how he's coping...
 

I'm having my final martini and loading one bullet into the PPK...

 
 
Anybody else want to contribute some this or that match-ups? I want Eric to enjoy the full OHMSS experience.

Edited by glidrose, 09 April 2013 - 07:40 PM.

[Walecs]

Men come first, women come second.

Sometimes, they don't come at all.

Edited by Walecs, 10 April 2013 - 03:34 PM.

[Eric Stromberg]

Bond accidentally kills Tracy?

 

Aaaaacccckk!   Phhhhfffffffffftt! (choking and gnashing teeth sounds)

 

I just talked to a brother at Langley, glidrose.  They traced your IP address and a drone strike is on its way.  They'll be "fixing" glidrose.  Enjoy death, my arch nemesis!

[glidrose]

I just talked to a brother at Langley, glidrose.  They traced your IP address and a drone strike is on its way.  They'll be "fixing" glidrose.  Enjoy death, my arch nemesis!

 

Ah... a return to the good ol' days when CBn fora members were allowed to utter death threats! A blessed relief from the heavy-handed moderation we've endured for the last year.

Edited by glidrose, 10 April 2013 - 10:24 PM.

[Eric Stromberg]

I just talked to a brother at Langley, glidrose.  They traced your IP address and a drone strike is on its way.  They'll be "fixing" glidrose.  Enjoy death, my arch nemesis!

 

Ah... a return to the good ol' days when CBn fora members were allowed to utter death threats! A blessed relief from the heavy-handed moderation we've endured for the last year.

Yes, there have been some casualties of late.  One was a friend of mine who was a wonderful guy in person but a bit of an angry blogger on these forums.  I try not to blog anything I wouldn't be comfortable saying in person, as a rule of thumb.  (Death threats excepted, of course.) 

[Shaun Forever]

Can I just say, cannot remember the last time I had such a good laugh and some fun with a thread!

 

 

The thought of 'Dirty Love' playing over the Bond and Tracy love montage, brilliant!  Anyone good at editing videos? Someone need to put

that up on Youtube!

[glidrose]

Can I just say, cannot remember the last time I had such a good laugh and some fun with a thread!

 

 

Glad somebody's got a sense of humor. Was afraid that everybody would read this thread with a straight face and wonder why Jim hasn't banned that tosser Glidrose yet.

[Eric Stromberg]

Can I just say, cannot remember the last time I had such a good laugh and some fun with a thread!

 

 

Glad somebody's got a sense of humor. Was afraid that everybody would read this thread with a straight face and wonder why Jim hasn't banned that tosser Glidrose yet.

I don't think "tosser" has been associated with you, glidrose.  I believe it was "punter" whatever that means.  (I don't speak Brit.)

Can I just say, cannot remember the last time I had such a good laugh and some fun with a thread!

 

 

The thought of 'Dirty Love' playing over the Bond and Tracy love montage, brilliant!  Anyone good at editing videos? Someone need to put

that up on Youtube!

Only from the twisted mind of glidrose.  And can you imagine the look on Bond's face (and the audience's!) if he "accidentally" shot Tracy?

 

I mean how are you going to set that up, for one?  What is he doing?  Fiddling with the PPK at the breakfast table and he manages to dribble one out the barrel and into his new wife?  How would you like to write the score for that movie moment?  Ghastly...

[glidrose]

And can you imagine the look on Bond's face (and the audience's!) if he "accidentally" shot Tracy?
 
I mean how are you going to set that up, for one?  What is he doing?  Fiddling with the PPK at the breakfast table and he manages to dribble one out the barrel and into his new wife?

Leers at the camera, "This never happened to the other feller" followed by the Tarzan yell.
 

How would you like to write the score for that movie moment?  Ghastly...

 
TMWTGG slide whistle would probably work. Either that or Eric Serra singing "The Experience of Love".

[glidrose]

I mean how are you going to set that up, for one?  What is he doing?  Fiddling with the PPK at the breakfast table and he manages to dribble one out the barrel and into his new wife?  How would you like to write the score for that movie moment?  Ghastly...

 

Funny you should mention that. You see, when I was last in London circa 2007-2008, I actually stormed the EON/Danjaq headquarters. I gave Mickey G and Barbara B all my best ideas. I told them here's what they can do. Put the OHMSS gun barrel sequence at film's end and then cut to Tracy dead. Don't know what Mickey and Babs thought because at that moment the London police tackled me to the ground.

Yeah, I know... dumb idea. EON will never put a gun barrel at the end of a film.