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And so it begins: Fake report about Skyfall Screening in London


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#1 DamnCoffee

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 09:09 PM

From IMBb. Funnily enough, I'm sure that this was around the same time we got the fake review of Quantum back in '08. Probably a load of bull, but massive spoiler warning, just in case. It does sound good though. I have to admit...


I just got back from a Skyfall screening in London! Me and a few other people were asked to attend a test screening. I’ve attempted a review. I hope you enjoy.

“Take the bloody shot” Judi Dench blasts as James Bond is thrown off the side of a train and into the murky depths below. Is this the end of James Bond, hell no it isn’t. As this scene is just the start of the film, and the conclusion to a whopping 25 minute pre title sequence which takes James Bond to Turkey. I’m sure you are all thinking that 25 minutes is far too long for a pre title sequence, but the whole thing is pitch perfect and after the brilliant addition of the iconic James Bond gunbarrel sequence, which involves our hero dressed in an open necked tuxedo walking briskly onto the screen, with the brilliant Casino Royale gunbarrel design, opening up a stunning shot of the Turkey skyline, which sets the tone for the fantastic cinematography in this film. It’s honestly the best looking Bond film ever.

Unfortunately the soundtrack is not finished yet, so incidental music was used for the entire film, in this case, the Tomorrow Never Dies gunbarrel music), the opening title’s weren’t finished either, some dancing girls, fire, blood but pretty much just a green sceen and used music from the OHMSS titles.

The one thing that is evident though, is that Daniel Craig just owns James Bond. He is perfect in the role. Delivering every line with dangerous solidarity and just total awesomeness. He is way comfortable in this role, and it shows in this flawless performance. We actually get under the skin of the character more so than in Casino Royale.

This, in the most possible way, feels like a classic Bond movie, but at the same time very different. We even get a darker off the rails Bond, as he’s enjoying his freedom from the service before returning to M’s aid. We see Bond, funnily enough, smoking a cigar in a run down bar. Lovely nod to Die Another Day, but the highlight of the scene involves Bond nearly getting bitten by a scorpion during a rather sadistic drinking game.

Sam Mendes definitely understands what he’s doing here. I admit originally I had doubts, we know what happens when drama directors get a shot at Bond, especially Michael Apted, but for the first time since Casino Royale, the films action is doesn’t feel pointless and moves the plot along smoothly.

Javier Bardem is just totally creepy as Silva, easily the best Bond villain since well… Goldfinger. He has shades of Francisco Scramanga and Max Zorin for that matter, who were both very good villains, but I don’t even know if I can call him a villain. I totally understand his plan, I feel for the guy. The first time in history that I’ve actually felt sorry for the Bond villain. He is the same as Bond, they experience the same thing, but the difference between both of them is how they handle certain situations. There’s a lovely scene involving Silva in an isolation chamber, and Silva tells Bond that he might be loyal to her majesty but if he knew half of the deceit and betrayal going on in this ‘stupid little county’ then he wouldn’t think twice in joining him. Bond replies with “Try me.”, and Silva delivers one of the most chilling lines in the entire movie “Oh now now now James. I never spoil surprises,…. but I won’t deny that soon enough you will wonder whether you’re fighting for the right side.”

His plan involves murdering M, played by Judi Dench after her being responsible for the death of his, and Bonds parents during an operation gone wrong. If you think that’s the only part of the story, think again. I don’t want to spoil the film too much, but the plot is very very well told, and there’s so much more to Silva that I don’t want to discuss in risk of ruining everything. M has so much screen time in this, and one scene in particular she is in the thick of the action and the tension is unbearable. I’ve always loved Judi Dench, and I dare say she is one of the best things about this film. I would go so far to say she’s the highlight of it. M is so much more than everyone else thinks, I’m not going to disclose the fact whether is stays good or not, but the entire film is fantastic, in the way that we find out her backstory, and about the loss of her husband, and some of the inner turmoil she’s experiencing brilliantly unfolds to make this one of the most character driven Bond films of recent times. There’s a lovely scene around 2 hours in, involving M waking up in the Aston Martin DB5, without Bond at the steering wheel, it turns out that Bond is outside, looking over Scotland, Bond pours both of them a drink and they talk about Bonds childhood, and the loss of his parents, and just what has made him into such a cold blooded killer.

The last half an hour is by far the most emotionally draining and action packed aspect of the entire film. Infact, any Bond film. I can officially say that I have never cried during any James Bond film. I came close with the death of Bonds wife in OHMSS, but never have I ever had a near emotional breakdown. Until now.. there’s a major event in this one, that will pretty much make your mouth drop. It is SO unexpected and brilliantly acted. It wasn’t happy tears either. I nearly lost it. I’m so happy that I kept myself contained, but I won’t deny that the tears were rolling down my face.

There’s just so much that I haven’t covered. Everything is near perfect. A massive shame that soundtrack wasn’t finished, though. So we pretty much had music from the last few Bond films, but I didn’t mind really. Everything in this film is so great. There’s no brooding Bond anymore. Well, not brooding over Vesper anyway. The thing that struck me about this film is that it’s laugh out loud funny at times. The dialogue is crisp and genuinely funny, but it still manages to keep in touch with Daniel Craigs incarnation of Bond. The best way I can describe it is that it’s a black comedy drama film, with brilliant action and fantastic performances.

Ralph Fiennes is brilliant, he’s one of my favourite actors anyway, and for him to be in a Bond film is just a bonus for me. There’s been rumours floating around the internet and it’s more or less confirmed that he is indeed the new M, There’s a scene right at the end, before the final scene where Bond meets him, in a new office that LOOKS LIKE THE OLD M’S OFFICE, and the scene is fantastic. Sets up Bond 24 perfectly (by which I mean the Bond and M relationship. Not the plot) The scene reminded me a lot of Judi’s first scene in GoldenEye.

Casting Ben Whilshaw as Q was a very good idea. He has a lot of screentime in this one. More than I was actually expecting. He's there for a really long time, popping up in different places. Not a bad thing either. I was actually very surprised by the amount of chemistry that Ben and Daniel have. They just bounce off eachother totally. Trying to get the upper hand and insult eachother. Brilliantly written.

However, there are some gripes I had with it. The film is nearly 3 hours long, and there’s too much talking in some scenes, BUT that’s just me. I just wanted Bond back in action, It’s not a bad thing,. The thing I didn’t like though was Naomi Harris. Her acting is really bad in some scenes and her performance really does drag the film down. However, I guess I’ll have to get used to her since I have a feeling we will be seeing more of her in future. I wasn’t too keen on Berenice Marhole either. Her acting was fine, but there was something about her that was too Vesper. I can’t explain it. She is by no means terrible, but there are definitely shades of a darker Eva Green in there.

Overall though, to quote Mr Craig himself. This is definitely Bond with a capital B. Everything is there. The DB5 (with gadgets!), cool Bond moments (Bond strangling a guy with his bowtie, then putting it back on) beautiful cinematography (Honestly, the best ever) and the best thing, FINALLY a Bond villain that you’re scared by. Daniel Craig, Judi Dench and Javier Bardem are definitely the highlights of the movie. This is definitely the Bond film you’ve been waiting for. I just cannot wait to see it again. I really want to go back and watch it a good few more times.

Edited by DamnCoffee, 03 September 2012 - 09:10 PM.


#2 Vauxhall

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 09:20 PM

Nothing there that isn't able to be learnt or at least guessed from reading various fan forums, so I'm going to say it's not genuine. Almost commendable that they've gone to so much effort though.

#3 DamnCoffee

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 09:23 PM

I'm torn really. It's a difficult one this. I agree with you Vaux, but it just seems like. I dunno.

For one thing, they haven't given too much away, and secondly, there's some very nice stuff in there that I can easily imagine Craigs Bond doing. Especially, the part about throttling the guy with his bowtie, then putting it back on.

It is probably fake, but kudos for them to trying to generate some excitement for the release. It's not much, but it will be people talking.

#4 Nicolas Suszczyk

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 09:34 PM

"...but the whole thing is pitch perfect and after the brilliant addition of the iconic James Bond gunbarrel sequence, which involves our hero dressed in an open necked tuxedo walking briskly onto the screen"


That makes me quite happy, considering it's true. :D

#5 The Shark

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 09:46 PM

"The one thing that is evident though, is that Daniel Craig just owns James Bond. He is perfect in the role. Delivering every line with dangerous solidarity and just total awesomeness."

Does this guy even know what that word means?

Unity (as of a group or class) that produces or is based on community of interests, objectives, and standards.



#6 DamnCoffee

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 09:51 PM

"...but the whole thing is pitch perfect and after the brilliant addition of the iconic James Bond gunbarrel sequence, which involves our hero dressed in an open necked tuxedo walking briskly onto the screen"


That makes me quite happy, considering it's true. :D


I'm sure I suggested that a few years ago. If this is true then maybe EON has been prowling. ;)

#7 007jamesbond

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 09:55 PM

it fake.....remember the poster who did the same thing for the trailer.........exactly......no one not even the media can see this earlier

#8 Invincible1958

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 09:57 PM

The Original Poster on imdb just registered today. So I think that is totally fake.
Not that all of this might not be true. As a matter of fact we already know about 99% of what is written in that review.

But I don't believe that someone who just watched Skyfall by accident registeres on imdb to tell everyone.
If I wasn't interessted in imdb before, I wouln't even know that the imdb exists, let alone tell everyone that i just saw Skyfall.

#9 TheSilhouette

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 10:04 PM

I'm pretty skeptical, but the one thing that leaves a little optimism is that fake reviews often try to avoid directly quoting lines from the film which aren't in the trailers and they tend to be all happy rosy with little criticism of the film. In this review he does both. Still skeptical though. Also, that bit about Bond and Silva's parents is so tacky I refuse to believe it.

Edited by TheSilhouette, 03 September 2012 - 10:12 PM.


#10 The Shark

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 10:18 PM

I'm pretty skeptical, but the one thing that leaves a little optimism is that fake reviews often try to avoid directly quoting lines from the film which aren't in the trailers and they tend to be all happy rosy with little criticism of the film.


I think this fake reviewer was aware of that too.

#11 thecasinoroyale

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 10:20 PM

Nice one Mharkin!

Now I really really want to believe this and find myself getting VERY, VERY excited from this if it's true from the performances, the plot, the look and sound of the film and the bloody gunbarrel sequence!!

A BIG BIG pinch of salt taken with lots of things we've discussed on the forums could well be a passionate fan writing a hopeful preview review, but there's not much to gain excpet causing mass hysteria on Bond sites around the world so I do really hope this is genuine.


Very exciting but un-nerving not to get too excited, so I hope a few more events like this drip through to us confirmed as offical or not.

Wow...need to read it again to prepare myself. and just reading about the film, my excitement has gone from "I'm looking forward to this!" now to "GHRGUUHREFHEFHFGEFS!!!!!!". Fake or not, it's reminded me we MUST be in for one hell of a James Bond film!

#12 TheSilhouette

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 10:23 PM


I'm pretty skeptical, but the one thing that leaves a little optimism is that fake reviews often try to avoid directly quoting lines from the film which aren't in the trailers and they tend to be all happy rosy with little criticism of the film.


I think this fake reviewer was aware of that too.

Exactly.

#13 Pussfeller

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 10:26 PM

If this were really the testimony of a privileged viewer breaking a confidence, would he be so scrupulous as to reveal only those plot points that have already reached the forums? If he wanted it to be convincing, he should have made up some really crazy stuff, or mentioned some weird irrelevant detail that stuck with him.

#14 Shrublands

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 10:35 PM

Why in the name of sanity is anyone even taking this remotely seriously?
A first time poster on the IMDB – I mean, I ask you!

Also, Empire interviewed Sam Mendes in mid August and he was 7 weeks from completion. That takes us to the first week of October, which sounds about right.
Why for god’s sake would they be showing what they have to audiences now?

Actually I pity the stupid, attention craving moron who spent time writing this nonsense. I suspect we’ve encountered him before – Surely there can’t be that many sad fools who spend their time on this sort of thing.

#15 MattofSteel

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 10:57 PM

We do this every time, guys. It's not remotely true. Every major point that stands out can be gleaned from a relatively major (in the Bond-world) story or sound byte from during the film's production in the last 10 months or so. It's almost funny how derivatively it's written. There's only one new line of dialogue in this whole review, and it sounds like it's been pulled from cheap, terrible fan fiction.

It's definitely, 100% a fabrication on the part of a hardcore message board fan. Probably even from CBN. Remember the day we discovered that faint image in the background of Gassner's production blog that suggested M's classic office would make an appearance? Or the interview Craig did with Favreau where talks about "Bond with a capital B?" This isn't some casual test screening viewer. It's someone who's been intimately familiar with the film's production and very carefully conveys details that only one of our board-ilk types could know.

I mean, for God's sake - they claim to know by ear that the TND gunbarrel music is temped for Skyfall's. Seriously? There aren't many people on this planet who can identify specific gunbarrell mixes by ear - I'm probably one of them - and I know the sort of obsessive fandom it's taken me to get to that point. ;)

Or, it's all a hastily written studio plant specifically done for us to test the waters with some of the, er, more spoilery developments and guage an initial reaction so they can inform marketing practices in the leadup to the film. IE, help prepare all the press junket sound bytes the filmmakers will be reciting.

#16 tdalton

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Posted 03 September 2012 - 11:16 PM

Well said, both Shrublands and MattofSteel.

I don't even need to have read this to know it's not true, and pretty much for all of the reasons that the both of you stated. We go through this every time a new Bond film is released, this time being no different.

#17 JimmyBond

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Posted 04 September 2012 - 01:13 AM

I mean, for God's sake - they claim to know by ear that the TND gunbarrel music is temped for Skyfall's. Seriously? There aren't many people on this planet who can identify specific gunbarrell mixes by ear - I'm probably one of them - and I know the sort of obsessive fandom it's taken me to get to that point. ;)


I'm not sure if I'd be able to hear the Thunderball gunbarrel mix and automatically know it's from that film. But the pieces Arnold did for TND, then the similarly arranged TWINE gunbarrel...I'd be able to recognise those without being told what film they were from.

I recall back when I first saw Die Another Day in theaters. If you had asked me then how long the pre-credits sequence was, I would have probably said "around eight minutes." Because that's how long it felt to me. So for this guy to say matter of factly that the teaser in Skyfall lasts 25 minutes...well that sticks out to me.

#18 Leon

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Posted 04 September 2012 - 01:45 AM

"The one thing that is evident though, is that Daniel Craig just owns James Bond. He is perfect in the role. Delivering every line with dangerous solidarity and just total awesomeness."

Does this guy even know what that word means?

Unity (as of a group or class) that produces or is based on community of interests, objectives, and standards.


Ha. I was just thinking the same thing when I read it.

Hmm, it sounds well guessed, but there's nothing particular that the trailers and other existing info on the story don't show or suggest at. Also, on the subject of gunbarrels, when I read the part that says they have reused the Casino Royale gunbarrel design I cringed at the thought:

Posted Image


I don't think they would be that lazy, and while I felt it worked great in that film with that context, it's no classically styled design and I don't personally find it that nice. Considering the nature of this film I'd imagine they'd go for something very classic with a modern polish.. and with Bond wearing his tie!

#19 Shrublands

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Posted 04 September 2012 - 10:00 AM

The last half an hour is by far the most emotionally draining and action packed aspect of the entire film. Infact, any Bond film. I can officially say that I have never cried during any James Bond film. I came close with the death of Bonds wife in OHMSS, but never have I ever had a near emotional breakdown. Until now.. there’s a major event in this one, that will pretty much make your mouth drop. It is SO unexpected and brilliantly acted. It wasn’t happy tears either. I nearly lost it. I’m so happy that I kept myself contained, but I won’t deny that the tears were rolling down my face.



Is it just me or is this description laugh out loud funny?

#20 thecasinoroyale

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Posted 04 September 2012 - 10:24 AM

Seems a bit far-fetched I must admit for a Bond film...!

#21 PPK_19

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Posted 04 September 2012 - 10:25 AM

The last half an hour is by far the most emotionally draining and action packed aspect of the entire film. Infact, any Bond film. I can officially say that I have never cried during any James Bond film. I came close with the death of Bonds wife in OHMSS, but never have I ever had a near emotional breakdown. Until now.. there’s a major event in this one, that will pretty much make your mouth drop. It is SO unexpected and brilliantly acted. It wasn’t happy tears either. I nearly lost it. I’m so happy that I kept myself contained, but I won’t deny that the tears were rolling down my face.



Is it just me or is this description laugh out loud funny?


I laughed too, especially when he said 'i nearly lost it'.

A great read, definitely fake but the bit about strangling a guy with his bow tie and putting it back on makes me want to think otherwise. Like Mharkin said, i can see Craig's Bond doing that.

#22 thecasinoroyale

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Posted 04 September 2012 - 10:48 AM

I missed that detail PPK - I was skimming it so not to read too much of a spoiler-ish account. I want some things to be fresh but a bow tie garotting...the first in 50 years anyway, could be interesting!

#23 Shrublands

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Posted 04 September 2012 - 11:15 AM


The last half an hour is by far the most emotionally draining and action packed aspect of the entire film. Infact, any Bond film. I can officially say that I have never cried during any James Bond film. I came close with the death of Bonds wife in OHMSS, but never have I ever had a near emotional breakdown. Until now.. there’s a major event in this one, that will pretty much make your mouth drop. It is SO unexpected and brilliantly acted. It wasn’t happy tears either. I nearly lost it. I’m so happy that I kept myself contained, but I won’t deny that the tears were rolling down my face.



Is it just me or is this description laugh out loud funny?


I laughed too, especially when he said 'i nearly lost it'.


Yes, hilarious, but for me it's, "but never have I ever had a near emotional breakdown." that's the killer.

and "I’m so happy that I kept myself contained." being a close second.

#24 MkB

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Posted 04 September 2012 - 11:20 AM

A great read, definitely fake but the bit about strangling a guy with his bow tie and putting it back on makes me want to think otherwise. Like Mharkin said, i can see Craig's Bond doing that.


Oh no, that would show an awfully bad taste. The bow tie would be all wrinkled! :P

Seriously, yeah, I could picture him doing that. The report is a fake in all probability, but it's a nice effort

#25 Dustin

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Posted 04 September 2012 - 12:15 PM

So now I've finally reached that stage where I avoid reading fake reports while clicking 'show' on every available spoiler tag. I must be mad...

#26 Shrublands

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Posted 04 September 2012 - 12:45 PM

So now I've finally reached that stage where I avoid reading fake reports while clicking 'show' on every available spoiler tag. I must be mad...


Sounds like a near emotional breakdown.

#27 Napoleon Solo

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Posted 04 September 2012 - 01:12 PM

In February, a poster calling themselves "Liz" claimed to have seen a rough cut of the teaser trailer. The description didn't ultimately match up to the trailer that came out in May. The poster of this review of a preview showing has the handle "lizzie" something.

#28 Shrublands

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Posted 04 September 2012 - 01:25 PM

In February, a poster calling themselves "Liz" claimed to have seen a rough cut of the teaser trailer. The description didn't ultimately match up to the trailer that came out in May. The poster of this review of a preview showing has the handle "lizzie" something.



That’s interesting. I remember calling that ‘review’ a load of rubbish back in February.

#29 kneelbeforezod

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Posted 04 September 2012 - 06:57 PM

In this month's Empire I think Mendes mentions they have done a test screening and it went well. So maybe they did another one? Still reads like [censored] though.

#30 Simon

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Posted 04 September 2012 - 08:19 PM

The Incredible Suit guy that interviewed Kleinman (main page) says he has seen an incomplete version of the film.

If we are to believe someone who has access to Kleinman has seen something, maybe the newly registered chap has too.