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For Queen And Country


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#61 DamnCoffee

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Posted 11 July 2010 - 05:50 PM

I read through this a few times, and there's something missing. I found it a chore, actually, rather than a good read. Every good screenplay should hook a reader from the beginning, and it didn't, really. It would make sense to have a more larger action scene in the PTS, rather than just one fist fight.

I love reading screenplays though, it's a lot easier to picture what's going on, and take in.

#62 coco1997

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Posted 11 July 2010 - 06:25 PM

To be fair, Harkin, some of the better Bond films had pretty low key PTS (FRWL, GF).

#63 terminus

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Posted 11 July 2010 - 07:49 PM

Fantastic job, terminus.

I think what works best for me with this script is that it manages to be fun whilst taking itself just seriously enough, similar to how I imagined Dalton's third film. The plot (the whole tequila diamonds caper) is Flemingly bizarre, the action is big and bad but not unbelievable and you brought some of that classic Bondian sexiness back. :tdown: Including a complete cast list always help to add to the cinematic appeal of the script, as you did with your equally entertaining "Silverknight" script from a couple years ago.


I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I think casting your characters is a marmite subject and, personally, I sit on the side of enjoying the visual reference for a character that casting provides. It just serves to enhance the experience. I did have to stop myself from plunging too far into fantasist territory as this wasn't intended as a Roger Moore film (although it was initially concieved of as such).

Having been a beta reader and a creative consultant on this script over the past couple months, I can honestly say that it couldn't have turned out better. What began as collection of very raw ideas and musings matured into a solid script that I think could easily get the Bond franchise back on track in a few years' time. B)


I have to say to anyone reading this - that the project wouldn't have been possible without the help of coco1997, chrisno1 and other posters on other boards. Bouncing ideas off them really helped me bring the project to fruition - letting me bounce ideas off them (coco1997 will verify that I'd ask him random questions such as 'What type of underwear would James Bond wear'). I wouldn't say that it's got the capacity to get the Bond franchise back on track in a few years, but it's certainly flattering that you'd think so.

Well done Teminus.

I have begun; and am throughly enjoying FQAC

But the pace and visulisation are first class (just reached the pool scene)its very easy to see the characters; and the story is intreguing.
I'll blast through the next couple of chapters later.


I'm glad that you are enjoying it. The scene in the swimming pool was one of the last additions to the script to clarify things that would appear to be a plothole if not filled in. Thanks to chrisno1 for pointing out the possible plothole.

Firstly, thanks again for considering my feedback on your working draft. It was nice to see the screenplay develop. I though the improvements you made are just that: there is hardly a detrimental change.


Your previous thoughts really were a help - for example, the possible plothole mentioned above would never have occured to me should you not have mentioned it in your previous comments.

I have no complaints about the action sequences, which retain their muscle and tension. I especially liked the Ranger Thunder chase and the aquarium fight. These had great visual potential; they felt very James Bond! And you can never moan about a gadget laden car – the epitome of 007 cool! And as for that cringing torture scene... yikes!

Not every violent scene works quite so well, and on second reading, I wondered if there were too many fight scenes. I have to remember both Thunderball and You Only Live Twice have seven bouts of fisticuffs (of varying lengths) and I think a producer/director would employ a script editor to doctor some of your longer fights to avoid potential repetition.


The action set pieces were really hard to write, personally. I found it difficult at times to get down on paper what I was visualising - but the aquarium fight has been in my head for a long time, although originally intended to take place in Spain. I found the bouts of fisticuffs, as you've described them, even more difficult to write - and if any awkwardness with these scenes shows, then it's probably down to my innability to write fight scenes. I can box, but I can't describe a boxing game very well.

There’s a good cast of characters, which you introduced with the minimum of fuss. I think you developed the personas very well, which is hard to do purely through the spoken word. Phillip Masters is especially believable villain, in the “Quantum Trilogy” mode. I’d take him over that slimy Dominic Greene any day. The game of pool has an undercurrent of cat-and-mouse between hero and villain. This is much better presented than in its original form, and a good film editor would montage this sequence to condense it from the five page format witnessed here. I still think the stakes increase way too fast! I was pleased to see M has finally been withdrawn to Headquarters, leaving Bond the focus of the story. For the best part the dialogue is swift and succinct. Like a novel, where speech should never be wasted, you’ve concentrated on the talk that matters. There is hardly a word out of place.


I'm glad that you enjoyed the characters. I think Phillip Masters comes across quite well. I wouldn't say he's a better character than Dominic Greene, so I'm flattered that you do. Masters was inspired by Dominic Greene, with a dash of Mr White thrown in. The pool game was a tough scene to judge, the stakes do possibly increase too fast - yet it's a tough thing to judge whether to slow the pace of the increase in stakes and increase the number of pages describing the game, or to abbreviate the game into montages or whether to mindful of the length. I decide to go for a happy medium, in my mind, because I detested the chapters in the Fleming novels (and, in Zero Minus Ten with the Mah Jong game) where every move is described in excruciating detail.

I'm glad you enjoy M. A very early draft of the script didn't feature M until a brief scene between M and the Foreign Secretary at the end - with Tanner delivering the briefing in St. Tropez.

However I still squirm at the seduction/flirting scenes. To me they feel a little forced and unnatural. Love scenes of any kind are by their nature very difficult, the tendency is to drop into cliché or humour. I didn’t feel Bond developed a “romantic relationship” with any of the heroines in the story; none of them, frankly, are around for long enough. It’s interesting you make this a sexless Bond and I wonder, was this is because you too recognised there wasn’t any chemistry between the various women and 007?


I openly admit that one of the weakest point of the script is the relationship with the three girls. And, as you've said, none of them is in the story for long enough to develop any true relationship with Bond. I don't think it was a conscious decision to make this a sexless Bond - it's just that there didn't seem to be a point at which Bond could logically 'get laid' until the end. I think Bond certainly finds his leading ladies attractive - and he's certainly willing to bed both Paloma and Gala.

There are a few incidents of deference to the books and the movies. The introduction of Gala Brand, the electric shock torture and the outback sequences have that “pick-and-mix” quality that Eon uses in the adventures these days.


Some of this was, admittedly, intended - and some of it wasn't. Gala Brand, Phillip Masters and Simone Masters are all largely inspired by Fleming characters (Simone taking the place of the treacherous Rhoda Llewellyn) and the outback sequences are inspired by Zero Minus Ten although the electric shock torture is actually inspired by an issue of Ms Marvel that I read a few years ago so any similarity to a torture scene in the novels is pure coincidence.

The margarita recipe in the scene at the bar with the margaritas was borrowed from the novel 'Big Red Tequila', the first of the Tres Navarro novels by Rick Riordan, the guy who wrote the Percy Jackson novels.

Grouse Mountain does exist - though not in the form it is seen in the script - and I have been there. I lived in Vancouver for almost two years just after University.

Your locations are excellent. The realisation of them could be very Ken Adam.


I was hoping that the Ken Adam aspect would come across in the Chateau Masters scene and I'm glad that it did.

I congratulate you, Terminus, on a really fine effort. There’s nothing transparent about FQ&C, it has depth, peaks and troughs. You’ve thought a lot about the over all impact of the piece and that deserves a lot of praise. I for one wouldn’t have the patience to develop a project over such a long gestation. The wait was worth it for FQ&Q. Thanks for a great read.


Thanks for the comments. I've not go pretensions that this is a perfect project, it certainly has its flaws. But I'm glad that you enjoyed it, warts and all.

I read through this a few times, and there's something missing. I found it a chore, actually, rather than a good read. Every good screenplay should hook a reader from the beginning, and it didn't, really. It would make sense to have a more larger action scene in the PTS, rather than just one fist fight.


The first thing I want to say is that I've no problem with you disliking the project, that's certainly your prerogative. However, I'm a bit puzzled about why you find the reading of it such a chore - perhaps you could clarify with some examples so that I can better understand your reasoning?

The PTS was intended to be a tip of the hat to the PTS of Casino Royale - so the very low key fight scene was fully intended. I understand that you might have liked a bigger action sequence, but I don't think it would have made sense with the flow of the plot and worry that it would have come across as extraneous.

#64 DamnCoffee

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Posted 11 July 2010 - 07:55 PM

The first thing I want to say is that I've no problem with you disliking the project, that's certainly your prerogative. However, I'm a bit puzzled about why you find the reading of it such a chore - perhaps you could clarify with some examples so that I can better understand your reasoning?


I just felt like I had to force myself to read it. Nothing really stood out for me, that much. You have some really interesting stuff in there, though. B)

#65 terminus

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Posted 12 July 2010 - 12:49 AM

The first thing I want to say is that I've no problem with you disliking the project, that's certainly your prerogative. However, I'm a bit puzzled about why you find the reading of it such a chore - perhaps you could clarify with some examples so that I can better understand your reasoning?


I just felt like I had to force myself to read it. Nothing really stood out for me, that much. You have some really interesting stuff in there, though. B)


Oh, well, I can't please everyone I suppose. You said there was some really interesting stuff, which bits/things did you find interesting?

#66 DamnCoffee

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Posted 12 July 2010 - 12:59 PM

Well, I really enjoyed the Ambulance/Bike Chase I think that was really well written. Bond playing pool was interesting, we've never seen that before.

I liked Masters telling Bond to forget about the past, but I felt that the line "I drink this to remember Vesper" or something or other, felt a bit forced.

LOVED the Grizzly bear attack. I thought that was very original.


Maybe I was too harsh in my previous post. I still think that you need a few more action scenes in there, especially at the beginning, but you have some REALLY good stuff in here.

#67 terminus

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Posted 12 July 2010 - 04:59 PM

Well, I really enjoyed the Ambulance/Bike Chase I think that was really well written. Bond playing pool was interesting, we've never seen that before.


The ambulance/bike chase was one of the earliest concieved set pieces for the film. I've long thought the Lionsgate Bridge had vast potential to be used in a Bond film and was quite happy I found a way to bring it in at the end of the chase - especially as I got to tip the hat to the Bond movie that defined my childhood ('A View To A Kill') with a death defying leap from the bridge. As was Bond playing pool (taken from an unfinished treatment for a 'lost' Connery film based on the information we had on Per Fine Ounce) which is, I agree, something we've not seen him do before - and it made a difference to the usual casino scene that pits Bond against the villain.

I liked Masters telling Bond to forget about the past, but I felt that the line "I drink this to remember Vesper" or something or other, felt a bit forced.

LOVED the Grizzly bear attack. I thought that was very original.


The scene at the bar between Bond and Masters took ages to get right in my head - the dialogue never quite sounded right, but I'm quite happy with the way it turned out. The line about 'I drink this to remember a girl I once loved and mistakes I once made' - is all about Bond saying he knows he's made mistakes in the past and he's determined not to make them again. At the same time, it's quite odd because, for me, Bond is portrayed as having bought into his own legend - there's a certain sense of arrogance and cockyness there that events during the movie shock out of him.

I'm glad you liked the bear attack. It was one of the last two (if not THE last, I can't recall if it was written before or after the earlier scene in the swimming pool) scenes written for the script. There are actually grizzly bears on Grouse Mountain which you can often see in their enclosure during the summer months when there's no snow and the mountain conducts other activities instead. It was a tip of the hat to the animal attacks in the old Bond films - with Stromberg's shark tank and Drax's anaconda.

Maybe I was too harsh in my previous post. I still think that you need a few more action scenes in there, especially at the beginning, but you have some REALLY good stuff in here.


At my count there are six action sequences (stadium/chase, cable car, aquarium, outback chase, airfield fight and the final sequence) and, of course, some of these are pitched as relatively low-key sequences. That said, I certainly understand your earlier comments now that you've given some explanation.

#68 volante

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Posted 28 July 2010 - 07:33 PM

Ah the old Superhawk 43 - I can see it lanquishing just off shore.

Just finished FQAC; very entertaining; it flowed quite nicely, one might say it poured from the page.

#69 terminus

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Posted 29 July 2010 - 08:27 PM

I'm glad you liked it, volante. Any specific comments/thoughts?

This will be going up on my mates website in the next week - with a few minor alterations (a few noticed spelling mistakes and such) - so I will be linking through to that site closer to the time, some of you may like his work, he's got a few screenplay virtual shows of his own that he's running.

#70 terminus

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Posted 02 August 2010 - 03:40 AM

And - to announce - there WILL be a sequel to this. I've got a provisional plot sketched out, provisional 'casting' done - it's a bit more of a globe trotting movie than FQAC (which was limited to two major and two minor locations) with the action spread across FIVE major locations (and two minor ones). As unused elements of Fleming lore inspired FQAC, the same has been done here.

I'll announce the 'title' next Sunday.

#71 coco1997

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Posted 02 August 2010 - 06:07 AM

Looking forward to it, terminus! Got a tentative timetable yet? :)

#72 chrisno1

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Posted 02 August 2010 - 07:38 AM

Excellent news, Terminus!

#73 terminus

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Posted 02 August 2010 - 01:09 PM

I'm hoping for Xmas Day or New Years Day provisionally - but it might go with February and have it released six months after FQAC. It will see the return of at least one of the characters who debuted in FQAC - and I'm considering Morgan Freeman for a 'role' in it.

#74 terminus

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Posted 06 August 2010 - 04:57 PM

And here's your first hint as to the title of the sequel - and one of the featured locations:

Posted Image



#75 coco1997

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Posted 06 August 2010 - 05:07 PM

Oooh, that's a very colorful location you've got there, terminus. :D

#76 volante

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Posted 06 August 2010 - 06:56 PM

Oooh, that's a very colorful location you've got there, terminus. :D


Spill the beans; where's the location?

#77 terminus

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Posted 06 August 2010 - 08:12 PM

It's a hotel in a South American country.

#78 terminus

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Posted 07 August 2010 - 02:28 PM

And now for a second hint as to the title - and another location (though the building may not be in the same location it is in real life, if that makes sense):

Posted Image



#79 coco1997

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Posted 07 August 2010 - 02:31 PM

James Bond 007 in "NIGHTSHADE".

#80 terminus

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Posted 07 August 2010 - 02:47 PM

Might be - might not be :D

#81 terminus

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Posted 08 August 2010 - 01:38 PM

And now for the title - and yes, coco1997 was right:

Posted Image

This location is the one location that will definitely be featured in the actual location it is placed in the real world :D

#82 volante

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Posted 08 August 2010 - 01:55 PM

Hey hey. gret minds think alike

Posted Image

Edited by volante, 08 August 2010 - 01:55 PM.


#83 terminus

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Posted 08 August 2010 - 02:00 PM

Oh my - how embarassing. Lol. But, yes - great minds think alike.

#84 terminus

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Posted 09 August 2010 - 12:39 AM

Here is a poster my friend came up with to help pimp out the movie on his website -

Posted Image

It's now up at his site, in a slightly edited form, with the JAMES BOND WILL RETURN IN NIGHTSHADE line at the end, as well as a couple of extended scenes (the scene on the plane between Bond and Gala is slightly longer, for example) and a link to the official music video of the song I've postulated as the films themetune.

#85 chrisno1

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Posted 31 October 2010 - 04:08 AM

Whatever happened to "NIGHTSHADE" ?
Great title...
You have plenty of ideas...
When do we see the result...
?????
After the excellent For Queen & Country I was hoping for something more...
We shall see, no doubt...
?????

#86 terminus

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Posted 31 October 2010 - 01:21 PM

Nightshade has developed - oddly - into something I'm calling 'Risico'. I've an outline - but not sure when it will get written.

#87 terminus

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Posted 16 April 2011 - 01:28 PM

I'm doing a heavy duty revision of For Queen And Country - there will be extra character scenes, some minor recastings, there's an extra location and action sequence and a, for me, a more interesting (and, dare I say it, more explosive) conclusion.

#88 coco1997

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Posted 16 April 2011 - 05:04 PM

Looking forward to it, terminus! :)

#89 terminus

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Posted 29 June 2011 - 03:26 PM

To keep you all updated -

- There is a sequence set in Dubai (initially considered for the pretitle sequence of both this movie and it's sequel) which takes the place of the Airport sequence between the Masters' Forge and HMAS Launceston sequences. In my opinion, this

- There is an alternative finale scene (considered for this, but ultimately not used - it's being reinstalled).

- If I can figure out how to streamline it into the plot, there is a sequence set it in Italy (planned for the pretitles of the sequel but ultimately not-used).

- The revised edition of the screenplay will go under the title of 'Diamond Cut Diamond' (one of the working titles of the film) which will lead to an extended section of dialogue in Australia to explain the meaning of the title.

- Michael Buble's cameo in Vancouver will be swapped out for a cameo by 'boyband', The Overtones (and would include a cover of their song 'Gambling Man' and Cee Lo Green's 'Love Gun').