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The General 007 Tabloid Trash Depot


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#1 DamnCoffee

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Posted 21 July 2008 - 11:44 AM

Moderator's Note: Instead of making a new thread for a silly tabloid story, post it here!



ALICE-NCE TO KILL

EXCLUSIVE Rock legend Cooper reveals his secret dream as he launches tour of Britain I've always wanted to be a James Bond villa in. I reckon I could take on Daniel Craig

By Jessica Boulton


Shock Rock legend Alice Cooper has been terrifying his fans for more than 40 years - and now he wants to scare the living daylights out of James Bond.

The mascara-loving singer may have racked up millions of album sales and landed a string of prestigious awards for worldwide hits like Schools Out.

But he says he won't be satisfied until he comes face to face with Daniel Craig's superspy 007.

Alice, 60, says: "I've always wanted to play a Bond villain.

"I see myself as a great adversary like Blofeld, though I'd have a python instead of a white cat.

"I don't think Bond has ever really had a nemesis to match him so I could be that.

"He needs someone the audience believe might actually beat him. I reckon I could take on Daniel Craig."

Alice - born Vincent Furnier - is no stranger to putting on an act.

His amazing stage shows have included guillotining baby dolls, hanging himself, electric chairs and giant albino snakes.

He is also notorious for claims he bit the head off a live chicken during one gig - although he insists that's an urban myth.

Alice - who's new album Along Came a Spider is released next Monday - is playing the Motor Show Festival at London's ExCel Centre on Thursday and says his concerts are still as wild as ever.

But away from the spotlight the rocker who once drank beer like water now prefers the quiet life as a family man and golf nut.

It's not all sweetness and light, though - ask him about Simon Cowell's TV shows American Idol and X Factor. He says bitterly: "They aren't looking for rock bands, they're looking for people who are going to end up with shows in Vegas.

"Bands from the 60s and 70s still have hits being played on the radio, like the Rolling Stones, Black Sabbath and us.

"But I don't think many of today's will because music's becoming totally disposable."

Despite his pessimism, Alice is determined to rock till he drops.

He says: "Mick Jagger is five years older than me, so every time I see him on stage I'm like, 'Well, I've got another five years'.

"I'm almost in as good a shape as he is and if I can do an hour and 50 minutes on stage I don't think I have to retire yet."

Alice launched his music career in the 1960s. But he had to wait till 1971 to hit superstardom with two smash hit albums, Love It To Death and Killer.

He married his ballerina wife Sheryl - who he is still with today - in 1973.

But years of massive beer binges and hellraising began to take the toll.

And after The Who's wildman drummer and legendary drinker Keith Moon died in 1978, Alice checked into a New York drying-out clinic.

He recalls: "I was in my 30s when Keith died and I was on that same track.

"But I learned so much about myself from doing it and being hurt by it and now I will always know I'm in charge."

Alice admits he feels sorry for the new generation of "tortured" artists such as Babyshambles' frontman Pete Doherty and award-winning singer Amy Winehouse.

He says: "There's one thing with alcohol but they are on heroin as well. Really, that's life-threatening.

"You are really saying you have a death wish when you are doing that stuff." Preacher's son Alice found God after quitting the booze and these days he is a regular churchgoer.

He is also a golf fanatic who plays off a handicap of just three or four.

He only lets his dark side come out when he is on stage.

But Alice says: "It's impossible to shock an audience these days - CNN shows stuff more scary than any rock band could think of.

"We pretend to cut someone's head off and they show someone REALLY cutting some guy's head off.

"But we have to come up with new things.

"We've done me hanging and me in a straitjacket.

"So this time we're going to do me hanging while in a straitjacket."

And he adds with a laugh: "It makes it a little dangerous because I really don't have any control at all so if it goes wrong it's the end.

"But I like the audience to think there is a real chance it could go wrong.

"I just make sure I'm good mates with the crew who set it up."

Alice dismisses suggestions he should follow in the footsteps of his rocker pal Ozzy Osbourne and star in a reality TV show with Sheryl and their children Calico, 27, Dashiell, 24, and Rose, 15.

He says: "Ozzy was hilarious but I don't think my family would do it.

"Maybe we could do an updated version of the Addams Family.

"Or maybe I could get a role in Dr Who - I'd love that too."

But best of all would be that dream acting job - as a Bond villain.



Probably the wierdest casting suggestion I have ever heard tbh. :tup:

Edited by Righty007, 21 July 2008 - 04:13 PM.


#2 Qwerty

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Posted 21 July 2008 - 03:35 PM

Please. :tup:

#3 danslittlefinger

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 01:37 PM

http://www.dailymail...lly-Malibu.html

Tomorrow Never Diets: Pierce Brosnan shows off his jelly belly in Malibu
By Daily Mail Reporter
Last updated at 2:08 PM on 19th September 2008

Even a former James Bond can't escape the curse of the middle-aged man gut.

Despite being in fairly good shape for his 55 years, Pierce Brosnan couldn't disguise his rounded belly.

The Irish actor usually gets to cover up his stomach in a tuxedo as he appears on the red carpets of film premieres and awards.

But, when caught off duty, it seems Brosnan has succumbed to the ageing process just like the rest of us.

Dressed in a tight-fitting green polo shirt, jeans and a flat cap, Brosnan was happy to let it all hang out as he took his dog for a walk in Malibu.

It appears Brosnan may have relaxed on the tough work out schedule he had during his days as 007.

He used to work out six days a week, alternating between running, weight-training, yoga, tennis, swimming, cycling, kick boxing and hiking.


Posted Image

Posted Image

Edited by danslittlefinger, 19 September 2008 - 01:42 PM.


#4 BlackFire

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 01:41 PM

A man and his dog.. there's nothing cuter than that.

#5 Vauxhall

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 01:43 PM

Splendid hat. Nice to see the fashion from Last of the Summer Wine spreading to Malibu.

#6 BlackFire

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 01:50 PM

Indeed, that hat is like 'OMG I have to get one too'

#7 dee-bee-five

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 01:50 PM

"Middle-Aged Man In Middle-Age Spread Shock Horror!"

Meanwhile, in Iraq...

#8 danslittlefinger

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 01:53 PM

"Middle-Aged Man In Middle-Age Spread Shock Horror!"

Meanwhile, in Iraq...



Yes indeed but don't shoot the messenger. :(

#9 Santa

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 02:25 PM

Nice dog.

#10 tim partridge

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 02:28 PM

He's looking like how Roger Moore looked in the 1990s! SPICE WORLD 2, anyone?

#11 MkB

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 03:05 PM

New Pics of Brozzer (and belly)..


I don't get it... He named his dog "Belly"? :)

Nice dog indeed, it's nice to see a Hollywood actor with something else than a $5000 dog. This one looks just like the good old one you can adopt from the RSPCA :(

#12 danslittlefinger

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 03:16 PM

New Pics of Brozzer (and belly)..


I don't get it... He named his dog "Belly"? :)

Nice dog indeed, it's nice to see a Hollywood actor with something else than a $5000 dog. This one looks just like the good old one you can adopt from the RSPCA :)



Smartarse.. :(

Yes he adopted that dog plus a few others some time ago..I do remember reading that.

#13 MkB

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 03:39 PM

New Pics of Brozzer (and belly)..


I don't get it... He named his dog "Belly"? :D

Nice dog indeed, it's nice to see a Hollywood actor with something else than a $5000 dog. This one looks just like the good old one you can adopt from the RSPCA ;)



Smartarse.. :)


Perfectly formed smartarse, please... :( :)

#14 danslittlefinger

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 03:45 PM

New Pics of Brozzer (and belly)..


I don't get it... He named his dog "Belly"? :)

Nice dog indeed, it's nice to see a Hollywood actor with something else than a $5000 dog. This one looks just like the good old one you can adopt from the RSPCA :D



Smartarse.. :)


Perfectly formed smartarse, please... :) ;)


:(


Q: Where do we post something when it mentions post Bond actors then? What is the dividing line?
I thought Brozzer stuff went under Brozzer and so on...

Edited by danslittlefinger, 19 September 2008 - 04:36 PM.


#15 Jim

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 05:32 PM

Q: Where do we post something when it mentions post Bond actors then? What is the dividing line?
I thought Brozzer stuff went under Brozzer and so on...


A: Not really about Bond though, is it? It's sorta.. general tabloid trash. The dailymail.co.uk address is a bit of a giveaway too.

#16 danslittlefinger

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 07:01 PM

Q: Where do we post something when it mentions post Bond actors then? What is the dividing line?
I thought Brozzer stuff went under Brozzer and so on...


A: Not really about Bond though, is it? It's sorta.. general tabloid trash. The dailymail.co.uk address is a bit of a giveaway too.


Oh, Daily Mail stuff made it under the Brozza thread before...I can't keep up with it all.

#17 danslittlefinger

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 09:06 PM

Q: Where do we post something when it mentions post Bond actors then? What is the dividing line?
I thought Brozzer stuff went under Brozzer and so on...


A: Not really about Bond though, is it? It's sorta.. general tabloid trash. The dailymail.co.uk address is a bit of a giveaway too.


Oh, Daily Mail stuff made it under the Brozza thread before...I can't keep up with it all.



Here's another:
http://www.thesun.co...icle1711336.ece

Pam Anderson wants to be a Bond Girl.

#18 danslittlefinger

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Posted 20 September 2008 - 09:56 PM

http://www.fabulousm...y_issue_033.php

Posted Image

Posted Image


Interesting article..anyone on this forum admit to having something done since CR came out?

#19 DamnCoffee

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Posted 20 September 2008 - 09:57 PM

Would I want his legs? For what purpose? :(

#20 danslittlefinger

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Posted 20 September 2008 - 09:58 PM

Yes I would love his legs. :(




LOL....I figured you would. :) So would I actually.


He looks anatomically flipping great in that pic.

Actually it's a rhetorical question really..I mean who wouldnt..I was just curious to see how much of an effect CR and Dan's physique has had.

I know in my gym, about 30% of men there admit to being propelled into or back into the gym by that film.

Edited by danslittlefinger, 20 September 2008 - 10:06 PM.


#21 mccartney007

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Posted 20 September 2008 - 10:28 PM

I've already got legs like that, albeit hairier. It's the rest of me that needs some work.

#22 Kristian

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Posted 20 September 2008 - 10:32 PM

It would certainly make a lot of men more attractive naked.

My fantasy is that Daniel will take those legs and do a Xenia Onatopp on me.

#23 Scrambled Eggs

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Posted 20 September 2008 - 10:38 PM

I know in my gym, about 30% of men there admit to being propelled into or back into the gym by that film.


Out of interest, how did you find that out? You didn't go around the changing room saying "What do you think of daniel Craig's body?"??

I did actually change my routine at the gym after seeing CR. Mostly because of Craig's age. I thought "If a guy pushing 40 can look like that, I must be missing something" so I went to the instructors and got some tips.

So yeah, Good motivation.

There's no real way of putting this without sounding gay, and i know its been said before, but its pretty much the perfect physique. It looks natural, not beefcakey and show offy.

I won't do the waxing though.

#24 danslittlefinger

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Posted 20 September 2008 - 11:26 PM

I know in my gym, about 30% of men there admit to being propelled into or back into the gym by that film.


Out of interest, how did you find that out? You didn't go around the changing room saying "What do you think of daniel Craig's body?"??

I did actually change my routine at the gym after seeing CR. Mostly because of Craig's age. I thought "If a guy pushing 40 can look like that, I must be missing something" so I went to the instructors and got some tips.

So yeah, Good motivation.

There's no real way of putting this without sounding gay, and i know its been said before, but its pretty much the perfect physique. It looks natural, not beefcakey and show offy.

I won't do the waxing though.



Yes I did ask.

#25 danslittlefinger

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Posted 27 September 2008 - 08:53 PM

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

Taken last Tuesday.

Edited by danslittlefinger, 27 September 2008 - 08:57 PM.


#26 DamnCoffee

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Posted 27 September 2008 - 08:58 PM

I love how he is just normal and goes out in shorts and a cap. Brosnan would have been fully suited. :(

#27 MkB

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Posted 28 September 2008 - 09:17 PM

Er... a sling?? Poor boy!

#28 danslittlefinger

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Posted 28 September 2008 - 09:55 PM

Er... a sling?? Poor boy!



He's been in that sling for over three weeks now. Unsure as to the cause, but he did say it was an old injury..

I think it was a rotator cuff personally.

#29 Dangerous Liaison

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Posted 29 September 2008 - 02:50 AM

I think he is much too attractive for what's-her-face (I always forget her name).

Perhaps it's just envy that makes me say that...

#30 danslittlefinger

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Posted 29 September 2008 - 03:07 AM

I think he is much too attractive for what's-her-face (I always forget her name).

Perhaps it's just envy that makes me say that...



Satsuki Mitchell.




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