62 replies to this topic

[WC]

In CR, with all that beating during the torture scene involving Le Chiffre, how did Bond manage to survive and remain fully functional? That must've hurt. I'm sure most men would probably be somewhat inadequate after that thrashing, yet Bond retains his prowess throughout the rest of the film series (assuming CR takes place before Dr No).

And had it been Vesper (Eva Green) strapped naked in a bottomless chair and tortured in that way instead, I bet her ability to make babies would've been severely impaired.

So how did Bond survive?

Thoughts?

[Garth007]

well um....I think he might be stairel. lol. this is a odd discussion.

[whaleman]

well um....I think he might be stairel. lol. this is a odd discussion.

haha, yep!

[Bondian]

He was wearing a new jockstrap made by 'Q' called the "nut-cluster".

Actually. On a warm, summers night. It's quite easy for men like myself to be able to pull my 'tools' upward, and just leave my anus exposed. However. This course of action is not usually necessary.

Besides. Was Le Chiffre that good of a shot to be able to aim at the same place every time?.

Cheers,


Ian

[Righty007]

And had it been Vesper (Eva Green) strapped naked in a bottomless chair and tortured in that way instead, I bet her ability to make babies would've been severely impaired.

I'm not a vagina expert but the female reproductive system is mostly internal therefore I doubt the same torture would render her or any female sterile.

[Bondian]

And had it been Vesper (Eva Green) strapped naked in a bottomless chair and tortured in that way instead, I bet her ability to make babies would've been severely impaired.

I'm not a vagina expert but the female reproductive system is mostly internal therefore I doubt the same torture would render her or any female sterile.

Unless of course she was tortured with a stuffed CGI Pigeon.

Campbell "ACTION...CUE WELL ENDOWED PIGEON".

[crheath]

I always thought it was farfetched that Bond could continue cracking one liners right after being whacked. But then again, it's a movie.

[EL7]

In CR, with all that beating during the torture scene involving Le Chiffre, how did Bond manage to survive and remain fully functional? That must've hurt. I'm sure most men would probably be somewhat inadequate after that thrashing, yet Bond retains his prowess throughout the rest of the film series (assuming CR takes place before Dr No).

And had it been Vesper (Eva Green) strapped naked in a bottomless chair and tortured in that way instead, I bet her ability to make babies would've been severely impaired.

So how did Bond survive?

Thoughts?

Well... at least we now know after all these years all screwing around why he doesn't have any babies!

[Flash1087]

Well... at least we now know after all these years all screwing around why he doesn't have any babies!

Ah, ya beat me to it! Easy joke, I guess...

[Santa]

I'm not a vagina expert

Quote of the year

[Trident]

In CR, with all that beating during the torture scene involving Le Chiffre, how did Bond manage to survive and remain fully functional? That must've hurt. I'm sure most men would probably be somewhat inadequate after that thrashing, yet Bond retains his prowess throughout the rest of the film series (assuming CR takes place before Dr No).

And had it been Vesper (Eva Green) strapped naked in a bottomless chair and tortured in that way instead, I bet her ability to make babies would've been severely impaired.

So how did Bond survive?

Thoughts?

You'd be surprised what people actually (and sometimes unfortunately ) can endure. The torture wasn't aimed at severing any parts of anatomy as 'le passage de mandoline', the original torture of agents in Algeria during WWII that gave Fleming the idea for Bond's torture in 'Casino Royale'. It was aimed at inflicting as much pain as possible without killing. Granted, Bond's sexual abillity after this treatment is highly questionable even for Bond himself, at least in the book. But after several weeks of painful reconvalescence he's fully functional again. The film of course didn't show that amount of time Bond spent in agony.

While a frightningly horrible torture most explicitly described in the book (especially for the times), it still comes only second place IMHO to the one Ken Follet describes in 'Eye of the Needle':

His Faber realizes he's being followed by a former neighbour of his. Faber captures the guy and has only a few moments to interrogate him. To make him talk he stabs one eye of his adversary, threatening to take the second if he doesn't talk right away. Extremely brutal, sickening and effective. Yet a writer can only use such extreme force on characters he's bound to kill off anyway and Faber's victim only survives seconds after giving the information.

Edited by Trident, 29 October 2007 - 04:22 PM.

[Judo chop]

Bond

[Bond Bombshell]

It is possible to bounce back from a lifetime of pain and trauma in the testicle area. Whenever I see the torture scene in CR, I'm reminded of my old school friend Tom who was born with an imbalance. Unfortunately one of his gonads was tucked up nicely, while the other hung halfway towards kneesville. This used to make his life a misery. Even everyday activities such as walking could prove difficult, while sitting down could be deadly.

School life was particularly hellish for him. It wasn't easy for him to take part in sports, but he did his best. This was the 70's, when the fashion for boys' shorts was brief, and we always knew when there had been some slippage when we heard screams from the adjacent girls' hockey field. Of course, there was no end to the names he was called. My favourite was his Chinese name Wun Hung Lo, but he was more commonly known as "Conkers" because his right nut resembled a conker on a string. The mickey taking got especially bad during the conker season, when playing conkers was the main activity in the playground. One day a group of older boys decided that it would be funny to hold Tom down, whip off his pants, and play conkers for real with his lengthy appendage. Alas, there were no witty Bondlike comebacks from Tom, just a set of loud squeals that threatened to shatter the school windows. Looking back now, I should have really come to his aid, but as I'd ruptured a kidney from laughing so hard I wasn't really in a fit state to help. Surprisingly, Tom only needed a couple of days off school to recover, although the mental scars probably took a bit longer. However, when he did return, he was always secretly proud of the fact that he was the only kid in school whose right bollock was a niner.

When he got to about 18, Tom's problem was affecting his confidence with girls, so he decided to get the imbalance corrected. This involved more pain and trauma during a delicate operation and a three day stay in hospital. He swears that in each of the three mornings that he awoke in hospital, the first thing that happened was that a group of doctors arrived and floated his goolies in a bowl of warm jelly (jello in the US). To this day he doesn't know why, and strongly suspects that he was the victim of some kind of student doctor prank. Apparently, he was too embarrassed to say much during the process, and sat there making weak jokes about which flavour ice cream he'd prefer with that.

In comparison I think Bond got off lightly. The good news is that these days Tom has a perfect set and is the proud father of three, but come to think of it, none of them actually look like him...

[DamnCoffee]

Actually. On a warm, summers night. It's quite easy for men like myself to be able to pull my 'tools' upward, and just leave my anus exposed.

[WC]

lol, I'm sure he wanted his testicle life story aired for all to read. Those kids at your school sound cruel lol.

Is he a Bond fan, and did the CR torture scene bring back any painful memories?

[MkB]

Actually. On a warm, summers night. It's quite easy for men like myself to be able to pull my 'tools' upward, and just leave my anus exposed.

Erk...

[Bond Bombshell]

lol, I'm sure he wanted his testicle life story aired for all to read. Those kids at your school sound cruel lol.

Is he a Bond fan, and did the CR torture scene bring back any painful memories?

Well I did change his name to protect his identity. His real name is Tim. Yes it was a tough school, but these days I am convinced it would be worse for him. I happen to know there is a conkers ban at my old school, so today's young thugs would probably go for him with a hacksaw and a bunsen burner. Interestingly, the boys responsible were caned, so the standard punishment for a beating on the private parts in the 70's was another beating on the private parts.

He's not much of a Bond fan, and will probably be less so when he gets to see CR, if he hasn't already. He doesn't like to talk about or be reminded of his uneven past. I was present at one of his kids' birthday party recently. There was no sight of a plate of jelly anywhere.

[DamnCoffee]

lol, I'm sure he wanted his testicle life story aired for all to read. Those kids at your school sound cruel lol.

Is he a Bond fan, and did the CR torture scene bring back any painful memories?

Well I did change his name to protect his identity. His real name is Tim. Yes it was a tough school, but these days I am convinced it would be worse for him. I happen to know there is a conkers ban at my old school, so today's young thugs would probably go for him with a hacksaw and a bunsen burner. Interestingly, the boys responsible were caned, so the standard punishment for a beating on the private parts in the 70's was another beating on the private parts.

He's not much of a Bond fan, and will probably be less so when he gets to see CR, if he hasn't already. He doesn't like to talk about or be reminded of his uneven past. I was present at one of his kids' birthday party recently. There was no sight of a plate of jelly anywhere.

[Bondian]

Actually. On a warm, summers night. It's quite easy for men like myself to be able to pull my 'tools' upward, and just leave my anus exposed.

[HildebrandRarity]

Actually. On a warm, summers night. It's quite easy for men like myself to be able to pull my 'tools' upward, and just leave my anus exposed.

Were these warm, summer nights spent at a prison with hardened criminals by any chance?

[Bondian]

Actually. On a warm, summers night. It's quite easy for men like myself to be able to pull my 'tools' upward, and just leave my anus exposed.

Were these warm, summer nights spent at a prison with hardened criminals by any chance?

LOL.

I was kidding when I wrote that. From prison.

Cheers,


Ian

[Mister Asterix]

Actually. On a warm, summers night. It's quite easy for men like myself to be able to pull my 'tools' upward, and just leave my anus exposed.

Were these warm, summer nights spent at a prison with hardened criminals by any chance?

LOL.

I was kidding when I wrote that. From prison.

Cheers,


Ian

[mra]To turn this bit a bit serious, didn

[Double-0-7]

Yes, I believe he did. As I recall, shortly after they drop - around 13 years of age, the Sumos would start massaging them to go back up behind the protective pelvic bone. Those "diapers" they wear help keep precious bits tucked up out of the way.

[Garth007]

I always thought it was farfetched that Bond could continue cracking one liners right after being whacked. But then again, it's a movie.

Its also James Bond...He can with stand about everything. lol

[MkB]

You're true: here is the extract from YOLT:

"Tiger ordered the sake. He laughed.
- 'Unfortunately you are too old to benefit. I would need to have caught you at the age of
about fourteen. You see, it is this way. You know the sumo wrestlers? It is they who invented the trick many centuries ago. It is vital for them to be immune from damage to those parts of the body. Now, you know that, in men, the testicles, which until puberty have been held inside the body, are released by a particular muscle and descend between the legs?'
- 'Yes.'
- 'Well the sumo wrestler will have been selected for his profession by the time of puberty. Perhaps because of his weight and strength, or perhaps because he comes of a sumo family. Well, by assiduously massaging those parts, he is able, after much
practice, to cause the testicles to re-enter the body up the inguinal canal down which they originally descended.'
- 'My God, you Japanese!' said Bond with admiration. 'You really are up to all the tricks. You mean he gets them right out of the way behind the bones of the pelvis or what not?'
- 'Your knowledge of anatomy is as vague as your appreciation for poetry, but that is more or less so, yes. Then, before a fight,
he will bind up that part of the body most thoroughly to contain these vulnerable organs in their hiding-place. Afterwards, in
the bath, he will release them to hang normally. I have seen them do it. It is a great pity that it is now too late for you to
practise this art. It might have given you more confidence on your mission. It is my experience that agents fear most for that
part of the body when there is fighting to be done or when they risk capture. These organs, as you know, are most susceptible
to torture for the extraction of information.'
- 'Don't I know it!' said Bond from the heart."

[Bondian]

Interesting. But it's not really what I meant.

I don't want to get this topic to turn below the belt, but what I should have said, was, it is possible for Bond to be able to lift up his bits so that only his butt is exposed to the torture. Okay. I know his legs and hands were tied, and his butt was well exposed through the hole in the chair so it was a little difficult for him to perform this exercise.

[MkB]

Interesting. But it's not really what I meant.

Yes... Considerably... But I don't think Bond was THAT interested in Le Chiffre...

[Bondian]

Interesting. But it's not really what I meant.

Yes... Considerably... But I don't think Bond was THAT interested in Le Chiffre...

LOL.

[JimmyBond]

Because he has balls of steel.

Because he has double-oh sevens.

I could go on

[mrsbonds_ppk]

Because he has balls of steel.

Haha that's what I would've said.