106 replies to this topic

[Humphrey Bogart]

The True Facts About Daniel Craig:

1.Daniel Craig knows where you live. And he will kill you

2.Chuck Norris doesn't win because he's so tough; he wins because Daniel Craig lets him.

3.The Americans has Chuck Norris, The Chinese has Chow Yun Fat, The British has Daniel Craig

4.He doesn't need to fly. He only needs to walk through walls


5.if you with either James Bond or Daniel Craig, he will steal your car, steal your wife, and blow up your house

6.Daniel Craig will kill any man who appears in stairs!!

7.Don't ever scratch Daniel Craig's balls, because it's full of metal spikes and has an alarm trigger which could make your best friends to kill you.

8.If you beat Daniel Craig at a poker match, ninjas will come and kill you.

9.Daniel Craig doesn't need Q. he is a gadget!

10.Daniel Craig doesn't need a house. Everywhere he is is his house!

11.If Daniel Craig was in Moonraker, he would have taken that Moonraker space shuttle and ride it straight into Hugo Drax's . Then, he would invite evryone to party in the Bahamas!

Your turn

Edited by Humphrey Bogart, 01 December 2006 - 06:24 AM.

[red_grant]

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[stamper]

LOL, excellent

Daniel Craig loves japanese women, and if you never ever slept with a japanese woman, you never slept with a woman at all.

[JimmyBond]

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Several funny "true facts" pages have popped up lately, it's sort of a cult fad. The celebrities with true facts thus far are Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer, Mr. T, and Vin Diesel.

These ones are just as funny!

[Icephoenix]

1. Daniel Craig can only see three colours - black, white and blood.

2. Daniel Craig's sperm is so potent, no woman could recieve it.

3. The credits of Casino Royale are actually a list of people afraid of Daniel Craig. Himself included.

4. Playing against Daniel Craig in Poker will make you cry blood.

[thecasinoroyale]

Hehe! Nice!!

Go Daniel!

[ComplimentsOfSharky]

1. Daniel Craig can only see three colours - black, white and blood.

I like that one!

[00Twelve]

Alright, being a Chuck Norris fact afficionado (whatever that means...I just REALLY get a kick out of them, no pun intended), I'll throw out a few of my faves:

1)Daniel Craig puts the laughter in manslaughter.
2)On his birthday, Daniel Craig randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
3)"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Daniel Craig calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
4)Instead of having a cigarette after sex, Daniel Craig heads outside and brands his cattle.
5)Daniel Craig was born in a log cabin that he built with his own two hands.

Until next round...

[License To Kill]

These jokes are funny because they make fun of Chuck Norris, essentially. Daniel is way too cool than Chuck Norris.

[Loomis]

- Daniel Craig had to tone down his athleticism, screen presence, sex appeal, etc. in order to play James Bond.

- There was no need for Daniel Craig to read CASINO ROYALE before deciding whether to do the film. He simply assumed - correctly - that it would be more or less based on many of his own experiences.

- Daniel Craig does not vote. He knows that whoever gains power will do as he asks.

- Daniel Craig flew a British Airways jumbo jet to the recent Tokyo premiere. Yes, he flew the plane. He got a bit bored and decided to take over, figuring they'd probably get there faster that way. He was, as ever, right.

- Based on decades of literary and cinematic tradition, the character of James Bond has dark hair. Daniel Craig thinks otherwise. (Erm, this one's actually true - Ed.)

[Blonde Bond]

Daniel Craig doesn't just steal your girl. Daniel Craig steals your mother and sister too !

Daniel Craig doesn't need no sledgehammer. He demolishes everything with his big ole head.

Daniel Craig's not blond. You're blond !!!

Roger Moore flips his car once. Well, Daniel Craig flips his car 007 times & gets his balls beaten. Afterwards he's like nothing happened.

Schwarzenegger was the Terminator. Well, he's now an old man, and Daniel Craig beats the livin' outta him !

[Humphrey Bogart]

More facts about Daniel Craig:

12. Daniel Craig

Edited by Humphrey Bogart, 01 December 2006 - 04:50 PM.

[Tarl_Cabot]

- Daniel Craig had to tone down his athleticism, screen presence, sex appeal, etc. in order to play James Bond.

- There was no need for Daniel Craig to read CASINO ROYALE before deciding whether to do the film. He simply assumed - correctly - that it would be more or less based on many of his own experiences.

- Daniel Craig does not vote. He knows that whoever gains power will do as he asks.

- Daniel Craig flew a British Airways jumbo jet to the recent Tokyo premiere. Yes, he flew the plane. He got a bit bored and decided to take over, figuring they'd probably get there faster that way. He was, as ever, right.

- Based on decades of literary and cinematic tradition, the character of James Bond has dark hair. Daniel Craig thinks otherwise. (Erm, this one's actually true - Ed.)

Excellent.


For a holiday, Daniel Craig once committed suicide just so he could go to hell and bitch slap Hitler and those 19 highjackers.He revived himself of course...using nothing but will power.

While dead, Craig, a lifelong Bruce Leee fan, decided to flee the bottom pits of hell to traverse heaven so he could get a lesson from his idol Lee. Lee agreed to give Crag a day long lesson...at the end of the day Bruce refered to Craig as 'Sifu'.

[ComplimentsOfSharky]

[quote name='Humphrey Bogart' post='660889' date='1 December 2006 - 16:48']




* Daniel Craig once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Daniel Craig re-entered the earth

[Tarl_Cabot]

Daniel Craig once turned down a recruiter from the Special Air Services because the world's most elite counter terrorist/special operations unit wasn't 'special' enough in his opinion.

[Mister Asterix]

[mra]Chuck Norris has a tee shirt that reads

[Blonde Bond]

Daniel Craig put stop to the Martian invasion, with his little finger.

Daniel Craig wants everything raw. He already ate your whole family, and guess what? You're next !

If Daniel Craig would look straight into the sun, his blue eyes would reflect any sun beam back to the sun, blowing up the sun and bringing back the Ice Age. Hence the sunglasses, made of material from Krypton, the planet, Craig also blew up with his icy blue eyes.

Edited by Blonde Bond, 01 December 2006 - 06:09 PM.

[EWKDSMB]

Daniel Craig actually started up CnB to find out who his enemies are.
Daniel is now Pierce Brosnans bodyguard owing to the fact Pierce is more scared of The CnB people than Daniel is.

[Tarl_Cabot]

LOL, excellent

Daniel Craig loves japanese women, and if you never ever slept with a japanese woman, you never slept with a woman at all.

* promptly books flight to Tokyo*

[Damien Hunt]

*Daniel Craig doesn

[EWKDSMB]

simon says was actually originally called Daniel says
however Daniel got fed up having to hit everyone who did something before he said they could that he let his best friend simon take over.

[Mister Asterix]

[mra]Daniel Craig never eats crow unless he

[Blonde Bond]

Daniel Craig doesn't make movies. He is the movies.

[Mister Asterix]

P Diddy has announced he wants to be the first black Daniel Craig.

[Blonde Bond]

Daniel Craig didn't want to be Sean Connery. Sean Connery wanted to be Daniel Craig.

Dame Judi Dench, you're not Dame. Sir Sean Connery and Sir Roger Moore. You're no Sirs. You're all Daniel's bitches.

[JimmyBond]

-Daniel Craig once allowed filmmakers to make a documentary about his life. The only stipulation being they had to change his name...hence Casino Royale was born.

-Daniel Craig didnt beat the other Bond contenders in auditions...he beat them in the ring.

[Judo chop]

When Daniel Craig orders his martini, he shakes the hell out of the bartender, then tells him to pour the drink.

[Mr Woodpigeon]

[rogermoore007]

Sorry to disappoint you all, but Chuck Norris always wins

[Loomis]

Daniel Craig has no time for organised religion. He feels that the human race would be more productive without spending so much time worshipping him.

Daniel Craig is anti-war. True, he used to start them quite often as a kid, but eventually outgrew such childish tantrums.

On being introduced to the Queen at the royal premiere of CASINO ROYALE, Daniel Craig smiled graciously, told her not to be so nervous, and reassured her that there was no need to curtsey.